


Broccoli Group Chat

by Fandomtrashed13



Category: Eddsworld
Genre: And debates ofcourse, I'm gonna add some of my own characters into this, ITS GONNA BE FUN BUT THERE'S GONNA BE ANGST, ITS NOT A FIC WITHOUT ANGST, WILD STUFF
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-06
Updated: 2018-10-14
Packaged: 2019-06-22 12:25:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 13,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15581967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fandomtrashed13/pseuds/Fandomtrashed13
Summary: Matt accidentally deleted their original group chat so Edd made a new one! And then more people were added...and more.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is just me putting my random scenarios and ideas into a group chat fanfic so please don't take this seriously. Im just really bored. Also, here are the usernames for the the pic.
> 
> Coca_Cola_Lover: Edd  
> MattInTheMirror: Matt  
> Lame: Tom  
> NumeroUno: Eduardo  
> Blue: Jon  
> M. M.: Mark  
> ImBlue: Laurel  
> P. Kowalski: Paul  
> P. Nowak: Patryck  
> HELL2PAY: Hellucard  
> C. Bing: Christopher "Bing" BingBong  
> L. T.: Larry
> 
>  
> 
> (I'll make new ones for new characters.)

_You have entered the group:_ **Broccoli**

 

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** Hey guys!!!!!!!!!!!

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** Since Matt deleted our old group chat I made a new one!

 **MattInTheMirror:** It was an accident!!!!

 **Lame:** Or it was just you being you Matt

 **MattInTheMirror:** was that an insult?!???!!!

 **Lame:** Ill let you figure that one out

 **MattInTheMirror:**............

 **MattInTheMirror:** THAT WAS AN INSULT YOU SCUMMY LOOKING MOP

 **Lame:** And you just guessed that it was a joke

 **MattInTheMirror:** How did you know?!?!??

 **Lame:**..........

 **Lame:** Uh Edd

 **Lame:** Are you ok

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** YES IM FINE ITS JUST THAT I DIDNT REALIZE IT WAS OCTOBER

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** TIME HAS FLOWN BY SO FAST WHEN YOU'RE HAVING EDDVENTURES!

 **Lame:** We never agreed on calling ur adventures that

 **Lame:** Also it sounds pretty conceited 

 **Lame:** And that gasp was pretty over dramatic

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** YOU'RE overdramatic

 **MattInTheMirror:** shouldn't we put up our decorations??

 **MattInTheMirror:** Like now??

 **Lame:** No

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** Any specific reason as to why?

 **Lame:** Im lazy??

 **MattInTheMirror:** GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME LMAO

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** NO, NOT GOOD ENOUGH CAUSE IF WE PUT OFF DECORAFING THAN WE'LL FORGET AGAIN AND PUSH IT UNTIL THE LAST MOMENT AND I CANT HAVE THAT ON MY MIND!

 **Lame:** "Decorafing"

 **CoCa_Cola_Lover:** Is that all you got from my last text

 **Lame:** pretty much

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:**................

 **MattInTheMirror:** why are we just texting were in the same room

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** oh year

 

~

 

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** No, but seriously guys we should set up our halloween decorations

 **Lame:** speaking of halloween remember when you both got possessed 

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** I'd rather not

 **MattInTheMirror:** I think I do??

 **MattInTheMirror:** yeah I was possessed 

 **Lame:** Remember when I SAVED you guys

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** Yes, Tom we do

 **Lame:** Remember when you guys got SCARED afterwards

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** YOU TOLD US THAT YOU WERE POSSESSED T W I C E OF COURSE WE WOULD BE SCARED AS SHIT

 **Lame:**.......bUT STILL

 **CoCa_Cola_Lover:** ENOUGH

 

~

 

 **MattInTheMirror:** you know what I like

 **Lame:** not me

 **MattInTheMirror:** I like you!!!

 **Lame:** even if I break one of your mirrors?

 **MattInTheMirror:** oh honey you'd be dead to me :)

 **MattInTheMirror:** why would you even suggest that if you know that I wouldn't cut you :)

 **Lame:** I love how you're using passive aggressive smileys ajasbasjha

 **MattInTheMirror:** ANYWHO what I like is how in boxers they have a little hole by the side

 **Lame:** I KNOW ITS AMAZING

 **Lame:** I FEEL LIKE THE GUYS WHO INVENTED IT WAS HAVING THE SAME PROBLEM WITH HIS DICK AND MAYBE HE ACCIDENTALLY CUT A WHOLE AND WAS SUDDENLY !!!!!!!!!!

 **MattInTheMirror:** how would !!!!!!!!! sound in real life?

 **Lame:** Hell if I know

 

~

 

 **Lame:** EDD MADE THE NOISE

 **MattInTheMirror:** WHAT NOISE

 **Lame:** THE !!!!!!!!! NOISE

 **MattInTheMirror:** OHHHHHHH

 **MattInTheMirror:** HOW

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** TOM FUKCING SCARED ME AND MADE ME DROP MY BOWL OF GRAPES

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** WHAT THE FUCK TOM

 **Lame:** AHJDDKDHSFDHASJ SORRY NOT SORRY

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** STOP LAUHING AND HELP ME CLEAN THIS UP

 **MattInTheMirror:** Omg

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** TOM

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** TOM I S2G DONT YOU DARE WALK AWAY

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** T O M

 **MattInTheMirror:** IM CACKLING EDD JUST CLEAN IT UP

 **Lame:** W  HEE ZE

 

~

 

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** TOM RINGO ALMSOT ATE A GRAPE IM GONNA KILL YOU

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** SHE COULDVE HAVE DIED TOM

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** MAY YOUR HEADPHONES BE TANGLED FOREVER YOU SCUMMY MOP

 **Lame:** WHY IS EVERYONE CALLING ME A MOP I DONT LOOK LIKE A MOP EDD YOU LOOK LIKE A MOP YOUR HAIR IS FLOPPY

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** I AM N O T A MOP FUCK YOU

 **Lame:** Could've fooled me

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** I hate you

 **Lame:** :')

 

~

 

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** No but seriously we should put up our decorations its Oct 10, 2015 you guys

 **Lame:** dude dont text at night remember

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** SHIT SORRY NIGHT GUYS

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I genially think that the hole near the side of the boxers is neat. Just my opinion  
> This is a pretty boring chapter but'll get interesting trust me  
> Fun fact while writing this I kept on typing Coca_Cola_Loser instead of lover but does it really make a difference  
> Welp, see ya in the next chapter scouts!


	2. Sugar High and Decorating

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who is who:
> 
> Coca_Cola_Lover: Edd  
> MatInTheMirror: Matt  
> Lame: Tom  
> NumeroUno: Eduardo  
> Blue: Jon  
> M. M.:Mark  
> ImBlue: Laurel  
> P. Kowalski: Paul  
> P. Nowak: Patryck  
> HELL2PAY: Hellucard  
> C. Bing: Christopher "Bing" Bingbong  
> L. T.: Larry
> 
> More characters and usernames will be added as the story continues

_You have entered the group:_ **Broccoli**

 

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** DECORATING TIME! DECORATING TIME! DECORATING TIIIIIIIMMMMMEEE!!!

**Lame:** ughughughugh

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** Stfu, Tom you've been sitting on your lazy ass all day so get the fuck up and help me you mop you've been doing nothing but eating Doritos that will slowly kill you later on

**MattInTheMirror:** WELL THEN

**Lame:** someone help me up

**MattInTheMirror:** No

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** No

**Lame:** FUCK ALL OF YOUUU

 

~

 

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** Should we put cobwebs on the windows?

**MattInTheMirror:** No on the couch!!!

**Lame:** When did we get cobwebs?

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** Matt and I got them after you insisted on doing 13 body shots off of your friend Cheryll who kept on screaming AND ate two bowls of cherries

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** And when we got home you had cherry stains all over yourself and Matt though it was blood and panicked cause he thought you had turned into a vampire and had killed Cheryll

**MattInTheMirror:** I REMEMBER THAT I WAS SO WORRIED BUT KINDA HAPPY??? CAUSE I COULD HAVE ANOTHER VAMPIRE WHO CAN UNDERSTAND MY STRUGGLES

**MattInTheMirror:** But iT WAS ALL A LIE :999

**Lame:** oh yeah I remember that

**Lame:** MATT WHAT IS THAT EMOTICON

**MattInTheMirror:** I DONT KNOW

**MattInTheMirror:**  FUCK I FORGOT TO SHIFT I MEANT THIS

**MattInTheMirror:** :(((

**Lame:** OK THATS BETTER

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** IS IT BETTER

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** ISSSS IIIIIIITTT

**Lame:** Yes it is Edd

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** ARE YOU S U R E ABOUT THAT

**MattInTheMirror:** WHY ARE YOU SO HYPER

**Lame:** WERE IN DIFFERENT ROOMS MATT HOW CAN YOU TELL HE'S HYPER THROUGH TEXT

**MattInTheMirror:** SKILL

**Lame:** UGH

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** IDK WHY IM HYPER BUT I LIKE IT CAN I ALWAYS BE LIKE THIS GUYS

**Lame:** Thaaaaats doubtful

**MattInTheMirror:** Indubitably

 

~

 

_1 new chat from:_ **Lame**

 

**Lame:** Im pretty sure Edd drank cola for breakfast again

**MattInTheMirror:** should we ask??

**Lame:** No he'll think we might attack him or some shit again

**Lame:** I'll search the kitchen

**MattInTheMirror:** Kk!!

_1 new chat from:_ **MattInTheMirror**

 

 

**MattInTheMirror:** did u find anything?

**Lame:** Not yet

**Lame:** NVM I FOUND SOME SHIT

**MattInTheMirror:** WHAT

**Lame:** THIS LIL SHIT DOWNED A WHOLE BOTTLE OF COKO

**Lame:** *COKE

**MattInTheMirror:** how do you know he drank a whole bottle of coko?

**Lame:** THERES AN EMPTY BOTTLE OF COKE IN THE GARBAGE MATT

**MattInTheMirror:** oh

**Lame:** IM GONNA CONFRONT HIM

 

~

 

_You have entered:_ **Broccoli**

 

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** Where are you guys I need help with the giant bat

**MattInTheMirror:**  Edd its halloween not baseball season

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** No I mean the animal bat

**MattInTheMirror:** .......oooooohhh

**Lame:** EDD DID YOU DRINK A WHOLE BOTTLE OF COKE AGAIN

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** ...............................

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** Listen

**Lame:** AH HA

**Lame:** CAUGHT IN THE FUCKING ACT

**MattInTheMirror:** Oh NOW I remember why we don't let Edd drink that much Coko

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** Coko?

**Lame:** IT WAS A TYPO LET IT GO MATT

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** PETITIION TO CALL COKE COKO

**Lame:** PETITION TO STOP EDD FROM DRINKING COLA EVERY MORNING DONT YOU REMEMBER THE LAST TIME

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** YES BUT THE FEELING WAS AMAZING

**Lame:** EDD WE CANT KEEP DOING THIS

**Lame:** YOUR TEETH WILL ROT

**Coca_Cola_Lover:**  HOPE YOU AND YOUR LIVER ROTS TOM SINCE YOURE CONSUMING ALCOHOL DAILY

**Lame:** DONT YOU DARE BRING MY ALCOHOL INTO THIS YOU LIL SHIT

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** FUCK YOUUUU

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** YOU CANT CONTROL ME

**Lame:** MATT BACK ME UP

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** MATT BACK /ME/ UP

**MattInTheMirror:** Do we really need to put up those black cat decorations? We have Ringo

 

**Coca_Cola_Lover** _and_ **Lame** _have left the group:_ **Broccoli**

 

**MattInTheMirror:** GUYS????

**MattInTheMirror:** FINE ILL ASK GOOGLE AT LEAST ITS NOT FUCKING RUDE 

**MattInTheMirror:** god damn it was just a simple question

 

~

 

**MattInTheMirror** _has added_ **Coca_Cola_Lover** _and_ **Lame** _to the group:_ **Broccoli**

 

**MattInTheMirror:** did you guys make uP

**Lame:** yep

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** pls don't talk i have a headache

**Lame:** Im not gonna say I told you so

**Lame:** but

**Lame:** I told you so

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** I hate you

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** I'm taking a nap bye

 

~

 

**MattInTheMirror:** No, but seriously theres no point in putting up the black cats cause we have Ringo

**Lame:** you're not wrong

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** hey Tom did you help those skeletons become gay

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** since you helped them come out of the closet.

**Lame:** Bitch they're already gay I forgot me and Matt got drunk, bought some spray cans, and made them rainbow colored 

**Lame:** its a mess

**MattInTheMirror:** indubitably take them out

**MattInTheMirror:** NVM THEYRE MESSY

**MattInTheMirror:** PUT THEM BACK IN NO ONE NEEDS TO SEE THAT

**Lame:** ITS OUR HANDIWORK MATT BE PROUD MY GOD

**MattInTheMirror:** NO 

**Lame:** RUDE AF

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It turns out cola has sugar and acid in it so it can rot your teeth. Also, after a sugar high that person will experience headaches so drink some water kids.  
> Im pretty sure I used "indubitably" right in this  
> Writing Edd and Toms fight was amazing to write just wanted to throw that one out  
> Welp, see ya in the next chapter folks


	3. Leaf grinding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who is who list:
> 
> Coca_Cola_Lover: Edd  
> MattInTheMirror: Matt  
> Lame: Tom  
> NORSKI: Tord  
> NumerUno: Eduardo  
> Blue: Jon  
> M. M.: Mark  
> P. Kowalski  
> P. Nowak  
> HELL2PAY: Hellucard  
> C. Bing: Christopher "Bing" Bingbong  
> L. T.: Larry
> 
> More characters and users will be added soon!

_You have entered:_ **Broccoli**

 

 **MattInTheMirror:** uh

 **MattInTheMirror:** what was that scream

 **MattInTheMirror:** SHOULD I BE CONCERNED

 **Lame:** Its a scream Matt of course you should be concerned 

 **MattInTheMirror:** or maybe its a scream of delight??

 **MattInTheMirror:** Edd was that s scream of delight

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** It wAS A SCREAM OF ANGER

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** THE FUCKING DELIVERY GUY MESSED UP MY ORDER

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** INSTEAD OF THAT GOOD ASS COKO I GOT THIS NASTY ASS DUMPSTER JUICE ASS DIET COLA WTF

 **Lame:** Pls stop calling coke coko it was a simply typo

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** IM GONNA SCREAM

 **Lame:** Is the delivery guy still there?

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** uh

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** Yeah

 **Lame:** .....Should'nt you tell him where Eduardo's house is?

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** But screaming seems so much better

 **Lame:** Edd NO

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** EDD YES

 **MattInTheMirror:** I'll do it

 **MattInTheMirror:** EDD WHY ARE YIU JUST ON YOUR PHONE WITH AN ANGRY EXPRESSION ON YOUR FACE YOU'RE SCARING THE DELIVERY GUY

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** Oops?

 **MattInTheMirror:**  OML

 **MattInTheMirror:** OK THE HES GONE HES GONE TO THE OTHER HOUSE EVERYTHING IS FINE

 **Lame:** Edd or the delivery guy?

 **Lame:** It better be Edd

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** WTF TOM WHY ARE YOU SO RUDE

 **Lame:** Why not

 **MattInTheMirror:** No the delivery guy from Emiliano's house is coming over

 **MattInTheMirror:** Jesus Christ thats a lot of coko

 **Lame:** ENOUGH WITH THIS TYPO

 **MattINTheMirror:** Its the new thing now Tom better get used to this bitch 

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** Its the new meme 

 **Lame:** STOP THIS

 **Lame:** END THIS

 **Lame:** THIS IS NOT ALLOWED

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** I GOT MY COKO GUYS YEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

 **Lame:** I hate you

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** No you don't 

 

~

 

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** GUYS GET OUT HERE

 **MattInTheMirror:** WHY

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** EDUARDO AND HIS FRIENDS AND I ARE ARGUING I NEED THE REASSURANCE THAT MY FRIENDS ARE THERE CAUSE IT MAKES ME FEEL MORE CONFIDENT IN MY WORDS AND  SHIT AND ITLL INTMIDATE THEM

 **Lame:** Omw

 **MattInTheMirror:** BUT MY FACE MASK

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** IT CAN WAIT LATER JUST GET OUT HERE NOW OR ILL THROW YOUR FACE MASK AWAY

 **MattInTheMirror:** YOU OWE ME ONE YOU DO REALIZE THAT

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** YES NOW GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE

 **MattInTheMirror:** F I N E GWQDGJD

 

~

 

 **MattInTheMirror:** Edwindo's friends don't even care about this argument over diet coko

 **MattInTheMirror:** Ass is just on his phone ughughvh

 **Lame:** Yeah but if we leave Edd will get pissed at us and thats annoying

 **Lame:** AND STOP IT WITH THE TYPO

 **MattInTheMirror:** Tfw your friend won't appreciate a good meme

 **Lame:** THIS ISNT A MEME MATT 

 **MattInTheMirror:** T F W

 **Lame:** YOU DONT EVEN UNDERSTAND MEMES

 **MattInTheMirror:** I UNDERSTAND THIS ONE LMAO

 **Lame:** OH FOR FUCKS SAKE 

 **Lame:** JSDSAJKFJKSDFJNJSFJA

 **Lame:** WH AT TGE HELL

 **MattInTheMirror:** Did

 **MattInTheMirror:** Did he just call us hoodie hoes???

 **Lame:** YESHJDKSDHKSAHDSA

 **Lame:** IM DOUBBLED OVER FOLKS THATS IT FOR THE N IGHT DSHD

 **MattInTheMirror:** IM CRYING EDD

 **MattInTheMirror:** "At least being a hoe means I get laid more than you" "SUCK MY DICK, YOU FUCKER" "cant I'm allergic to shrimp" HOLY SHIT

 **Lame:** RIP

 **MattInTheMirror:** HIS FACE IS SO RED 

 **Lame:** IS IT THE COLD NOPE ITS EDD BEING SAVAGE AS FUCK

 **MattInTheMirror:** HERE LIES EDUARDO HE LIKED DIET COKE

 **MattInTheMirror:** thats his name right?

 **MattInTheMirror:** Tom?

 **MattInTheMirror:** TOM WHY ARE YOU GOING INSIDE

 **MattInTheMirror:** Oh well

MattInTheMirror: OH FUCK EDDNON O

 

~

 

 **MattInTheMirror** _has created a new group_

 **MattInTheMirror** _has added_ **Lame** , **Blue** _, and_ **M. M.** _to the group_

 **Blue** _has named the group:_ **EVERYONE BUT EDUARDO + EDD**

 

 **Lame:** uh

 **Lame:** what is this?

 **MattInTheMirror:** its a group chat with mark and Jon!

 **Blue:** Hi!!!

 **M.M.:** Hey

 **Lame:** yeah but why

 **MattInTheMirror:** OK so after you went inside Eduardo and Edd kept on screaming at each other about cola Eduardo started to get more....aggressive

 **Lame:** Define aggressive

 **M. M.:** He kept on flicking Ed's forehead and he accidentally flicked his eye

 **Lame:** He what now

 **Blue:** YES HE DID IT WAS HILARIOUS

 **Blue:** AND HE KEPT ON DOING IT AFTER EDD WENT EERILY SILENT AND I STARTED THAT NERVOUS GUT FEELING THAT SOMETHING BAD WAS GONNA HAPPEN YOU KNOW THAT FEELING

 **Blue:** AND SOMETHNG DID

 **Lame:** WHAT HAPPENED

 **MattInTheMirror:** EDD SLAPPED EDUARDOS HAND AWAY, GRABBED A FISTFUL OF LEAVES ON THE GROUND, AND STARTED GRINDING AND RUBBING THEM IN EDUARDOS HAIR

 **Lame:** W HAT

 **M. M.:** EDDIE STARTD SCREAMING AND YELLING SOMETHING ABOUT HARASSMENT  AND HIS HAIR AND WE JUST STOOD THERE WE DID NOT EXPECT THIS TO HAPPEN SO WE JUST STOOD THERE

 **Lame:** ARE YOU TELLING ME YOU 3 STOOD THERE WHILE EDD RUBBED DRY LEAVES INTO SOME DUDES HAIR

 **M. M.:** LISTEN

 **Lame:** I CANT BELIEVE

 **M. M.:** IT WAS UNEXPECTED LEAVE US ALONE

 **M. M.:** AND I WAS TOO BUSY LAUGHING OK

 **Blue:** A N Y W A Y AFTER WHAT WAS LIKE A MINUTE OF LEAF NOOGIES MATT STARTS YELLING ''EDD NO WTF S T O P'' AND STARTS TO TUG HIM AWAY AND EDD IS LIKE "ARE YA FEELING IT KNOW EDUARDO ARE YOU FEELING IT N O W" AND I WAS HONESTLY SO SCARED I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD BE SCARED OF EDD

 **M. M.:** JON AND I LITERALLY HAD TO DRAG EDUARDO AWAY HE WAS SCREAMMING TOO MUCH 

 **Lame:** THATS WHAT THAT WAS I THOUGHT IT WAS SOME UGLY GRUNTING IT SOUNDED LIKE AN OGRE

 **Blue:** IM CACKLING WHAT EVEN

 **Lame:** DID ANYONE RECORD IT THO

 **Blue:** NO

 **Lame:** WHY THE FUCK NOT

 **M. M.:** WE WERE TOO BUSY TRYING TO DRAG OUR IDIOTIC FRIENDS AWAY SO THAT THEY WOULDNT TEAR EACH OTHER TO PIEVEC TOM SO SORRY IF OUR HANDS WERE FULL

 **M. M.:** REALLY MY SINCEREST APOLOGIES

 **Lame:** Oh eat my ass Mark

 **M. M.:** Hell to the no I don't want to touch trash

 **Blue:** ROAST!!!!!!!11111

 **MattInTheMirror:** WEAVE SNATCHED

 **Lame:** Don't

 **M. M.:** ANYWAY Eddie is now pissed at us and will probably yell at us for not helping him when the "enemy" sooooooo

 **M. M.:** Who wants to go to the movies?

 **Blue:** I do!!!!

 **MattInTheMirror:** Me too!!!!

 **Lame:** Matt, we're not invited 

 **M. M.:** You guys can come tho

 **Lame:** Wait what

 **M. M.:** Yeah I mean we've been neighbors for what? 7, 8 years?? And the only time we've talked is when Eduardo and Edd are yelling, we just insult each other 

 **Lame:** Uh Jon and I are actually civil while you and Matt argue about makeup products and shit

 **MattInTheMirror:** ..........Listen

 **M. M.:** Its not my fault he buys awful brands

 **MattInTheMirror:** TAKE THAT BACK YOU ASS

 **M. M.:** MAKE ME

 **Blue:** So, Tom theres a new Mission Impossible movie wanna see it? Its at 4

 **Lame:** Yeah sure

 **MattInTheMirror:** Wtf I wanna come!!!!!

 **M. M.:** You can't you buy from Aveda

 **MattInTheMirror:** I SWITCHED TO FUDGE THANK YOU VERY MUCH BUT I BET YOURE STILL USING MR NATTY

 **Lame:** I can drive us all there text me which theatre

 **Blue:** Ok then its set!!! Mark buy us the tickets

 **M. M.:** Oh ok

 **MattInTheMirror:** Shouldn't we invite Edd?

 **Lame:** No

 **Blue:** No

 **MattInTheMirror:** No

 **MattInTheMirror:** WHY THO

 **Lame:** WAIT LETS NOT TELL THEM WHERE WERE GOING AND HAVE THEM TRY AND FIGURE IT OUT

 **MattInTheMirror:** WHY THO

 **Lame:** ITS FUNNY I LOVE WATCHING PEOPLE STRUGGLE

 **MattInTheMirror:** HASHDA OK

 **Blue:** ALRIGHT TOM WILL DRIVE US TO THE GIDDINGTON THEATRTE 

 **Blue:** GOT IT

 **Lame:** AFFIRMATIVE

 **MattInTheMirror:** WHY ARE WE YELLING 

 **M. M.:** I DONT KNOW LETS STOP

 **Lame:** OK

 

~

 

 _1 new chat from:_ **MattInTheMirror**

 

 **MattInTheMirror:** How are we gonna explain to Edd where we're going?

 **Lame:** We won't 

 **Lame:** Don't tell him this but he can be childish when it comes Eduardo and its really annoying

 **Lame:** And he'll try to tell us no and might tie us down

 **MattInTheMirror:** Yeah he would tie us down

 **MattInTheMirror:** K just checking

 

~

 

 _You have entered:_ **Broccoli**

 

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** Have I mentioned how much I love Ringo

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** Cause I love Ringo

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** Her fur is just so soft and she can be so warm which is awesome in winter

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** Although I guess you can include fall because its cold as balls

 **Lame:** YES EDD WE GET IT YOU LOVE RINGO WE DO TOO BUT WAXING POETRY ABOUT A CAT ISNT NATURAL

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** OH AND MAKING LOVE SONGS ABOUT BOATS AND SUSAN IS

 **Lame:** DONT YOU DARE QUESTION ME, SUSAN, AND BOATS

 **MattInTheMirror:** I FUCKING LOVE MYSELF IF WE'RE TALKING ABOUT LOVING THINGS

 **Lame:** Wow if thats not egotistical

 **MattInTheMirror:** Its called sELF LOVE TOM DO IT

 **Lame:** Nah

 **MattInTheMirror:** UGH

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** Hey, where are you guys going

 **MattInTheMirror:** What makes you think..................we're going somewhere................Edd

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** You guys are wearing coats

 **MattInTheMirror:** Oh

 **Lame:** We're going to see a movies with Mark and Jon

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** Oh ok have fun

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** WAIT WHAT N O

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** GUYS GET BACK HERE

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** GUasdkjksal;;;;;;;;;;;

 

~

 

_1 new chat from: Lame_

 

 **Lame:** He raninto the door didn't he

 **MattInTheMirror:** Yep

 **MattInTheMirror:** Should we check on him?

 **Lame:** He'll be fine

 **Lame:** I hope

 

_1 new chat from: M. M._

 

 **M. M.:** Hey, are you ready cause Matt and Tom are

 **Blue:** Yep!!!! Lots go!!!!!!

 **M. M.:** *Lets

 **M. M.:** .........why are you running

 **BLUE:** EDURADO FOUND OUT THATS WHY HES SILL MAD

 **M. M.:** !!!!!!!!

 

 _You have entered:_ **EVERYONE BUT EDUARDO + EDD**

 

 **Blue:** DRIBEDRIVEDRIVEDRIVE

 **M. M.:** WHY ARE YOU FREAKING OUT

 **Blue:** ANGRY EDUARDO SCARES ME

 **M. M.:** NVM DRIVE 

 **MattInTheMirror:** WTF

 **MattInTheMirror:** OK WE'RE DRIVING HAPPY????

 **Blue:** Yeah, I'm good

 **M. M.:** How did Eduardo find out

 **Blue:** You know those moments when you're doing a task and you're so focused on it that you don't second think what you say?

 **Blue:** That happened

 **Blue:** I was looking for my wallet while putting my coat on and Eddie was like where are you going??? And I, being an idiot, said without thinking the movies with the neighbors and he just

 **Blue:** F r o z e

 **Blue:** And then I panicked 

 **Blue:** Sorry

 **MattInTheMirror:** Its fine!!!! At least we can go to the movies now

 **MattInTheMirror:** You got the tickets right Mark?

 **M. M.:** ................................

 **M. M.:** Fuck

 

~

 

 _You have entered:_ **EVERYONE BUT EDUARDO + EDD**

 

 **MattInTheMirror:** Well it wasn't Mission Impossible but

 **Blue:** THAT WAS TERRIFYING WHY DID I AGREE TO THAT DBSHJABD

 **Lame:** Why was The Shining being played after all these years is my question

 **M. M.:** Thats how the theater does it

 **Blue:** I STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND THE STORYLINE SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN

 **Lame:** Ok so the family was already dead and I guess the story was being retold in some way?? Im not entirely sure

 **Blue:** Whatever, at least we know where HEEEEEERRRRRRRREEEEEES J O H N N Y comes from

 **MattInTheMirror:** IM CACKLING JON TRY TO DO IT

 **Blue:** uh ok

 **M. M.:** Oh Dear God no

 **Lame:** Oh Dear God YES

 **Lame:** ...........nvm that was bad

 **Blue:** YOU TRY IT THAN

 **Lame:** MAYBE I WILL

 **M. M.:** Huh, that was actually pretty good!

 **Blue:** That voice crack tho

 **Lame:** :)

 **Lame:** Thank you thank you I'm here all night

 **MattInTheMirror:** Sooooooooo home?

 **Lame:** Home

 **Blue:** I STILL DONT GET WHY THE LADY TURNED INTO AN OLD LADY

 **M. M.:** DONT FUCKING TALK ABOUT IT JON IF YOU HATE IT

 

~

 

 **Lame:** Honestly thanks for inviting us guys

 **Lame:** This was really fun

 **Blue:** No problem!

 **MattInTheMirror:** Can we make this a thing? And can we hope that Ernesto and Edd mature so that they can come along?

 **Blue:** 1.) YESYESYES LETS MAKE THIS A THING 2.) We can only pray 3.)its Eduardo

 **MattInTheMirror:** SHIT SORRY

 **Blue:** ITS FINE

 **M. M.:** Uh

 **M. M.:** The lights aren't on at our house

 **Blue:** Oh God

 **Blue:** All I can think about is ambush

 **M. M.:** He probably went to sleep

 **Blue:** Probably

 **Lame:** thats so anonymous wtf

 **MattInTheMirror:** OK see you guys later

 **Lame:** BYe

 **Blue:** bye!!!

 **M. M.:** Farewell

 

~

 

 _1 new chat from:_ **Blue**

 

 **Blue:** Is Eduardo not home?

 **M. M.:** Have you called him?

 **Blue:** Yeah, no answer

 **M. M.:** huh

 **M. M.:** His coat is still here so he can't have gone far 

 **M. M.:** Let me text him

 

~

 _1 new chat from:_ **M. M.**

 

 **M. M.:** Hey, where are you?

 **M. M.:** Jon and I are back from the movies

 **M. M.:** Hello?

 **M. M.:** Are you still pissed off about us going to the movies with Edd's friends?

 **M. M.:** If you are than thats childish

 **NumeroUno:** Dude Im at Edd's house

 **M. M.:** What

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO I COMPLETELY FORGOT TO ADD TORD TO THE LIST OF WHO IS WHO AND I ADDED IT DASHJKDH! Also, finally the neighbors are added to the group. Idk about you guys but I love these three despite the little amount of screen time. And I cant believe that we as a fandom has dubbed Mark as the bookworm.  
> The brands Matt and Mark are arguing about are real; I made up the theatre on the spot.  
> Dear GOD this chapter was long  
> See ya scouts!


	4. WE'RE NOT FRIENDS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who is who (I changed the list and for now on will only be adding the users that will be in the chapter):
> 
> Coca_Cola_Lover: Edd  
> MattInTheMirror: Matt  
> Lame: Tom  
> NumeroUno: Eduardo  
> Blue: Jon  
> M. M.: Mark  
> CherryFromTheOutsiders: Cheryll

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter may seem short but I ran out of ideas so enjoy!

**M. M.:** You're.........at Edd's house

 **NumeroUno:** Yep

 **M. M.:** So all these rants about Edd, how much of a loser he is and how much of an annoying little shit he is, and how the day you guys get along is the day hell freezes over.........are just THROWN away when Jon and I decide to go to the movies

 **NumeroUno:** ...................

 **NumeroUno:** Ok when you say it like that I can see how hypocritical is is

 **M. M.:** OH DO YOU

 **NumeroUno:** HEY YOU BETRAYED ME FIRST

 **M. M.:** WHAT

 **NumeroUno:** YOU AND JON WENT TO THE MOVIES WITH THOSE OTHER LOSERS /AND/ YOU GUYS DIDNT EVEN HELP ME WHEN EDD ASSULTED ME WITH LEAVES EARLIER

 **NumeroUno:** Have you no s h a m e

 **M. M.:** Eduardo, sometimes people deserve to be assaulted with leaves

 **NumeroUno:** I AM A GOOD PERSON

 **M. M.:** And Lucifer was an angel

 **NumeroUno:** FUCK YOU

 **M. M.:** So! You and Edd are friends

 **NumeroUno:** Were not friends

 **M. M.:** What have you and Edd been doing this whole time?

 **NumeroUno:** Playing Jenga

 **M. M.:** For two hours?

 **NumeroUno:** ITS AN ADDICTAVE GAME LEAVE ME ALONE

 **M. M.:** YES, A GAME THAT ALSO INCLUDES BONDING!

 **NumeroUno:** NO! IT! DOESNT!

 **M. M.:** YES! IT! DOES!

 **M. M.:** Hold on lets ask Jon

 **NumeroUno:** FINE

 

~

 

 _You have entered:_ **Broccoli**

 

 **MattInTheMirror:** Hi Edd!!!!!

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** Hey

 **Lame:** Sooo.....how are you?

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** Good, pretty good

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** yoU A S S H O L E S

 **Lame:** Aaaaaannnnnnd there it is

 **MattInTheMirror:** I thought Tom was the asshole??

 **Lame:** wait what

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** I mean thats true but FRIENDS don't go to the movies with the ENEMY and FRIENDS help their OTHER FRIEND when they ran into a FUCKING DOOR

 **MattInTheMirror:** Huh, that explains the bruise on your forehead 

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** ................

 **Lame:** And we went to the movies with Jon and Mark, not Eduardo

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** ...................Just those two?

 **Lame:** Y e s

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** Oh ok thats cool

 **MattInTheMirror:** .....................huh

 **Lame:** I expected more screaming

 **MattInTheMirror:** Indubitably 

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** So! what movie did you guys see

 **Lame:** The Shining

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** What theatre still shows the shining 

 **Lame:** The Giddington theatre

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** Oh yeah

 **MattInTheMirror:** WHY IS THERE BLOCK THINGS ON THE FLOOR

 **Lame:** What

 **MattInTheMirror:** I STEPPED ON A BLOCK THING AND I LOOKED DOWN AND NOTICED THEM ON THE FLOOR FOR THE FIRST TIME

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** Me and Eduardo we're playing Jenga while you guys were gone

 **MattInTheMirror:** YOU GUYS ARE ADULTS CLEAN UP AFTER YOURSELVES

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** YOU DO IT YOURE RIGHT THERE

 **MattInTheMirror:** No

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** WHY

 **MattInTheMirror:** Its not the game I played and my foot hurts

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** HSDKDAJKNJS

 **MattInTheMirror:** Omg Edd did you play this by yourself 

 **Lame:** THAT is the saddest thing tho

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** No I played with Eduardo

 **Lame:** THE WHOLE TIME???

 **Lame:** EDD WE WERE GONE FOR TWO HOURS

 **Lame:** THATS TWO HOURS OF DOING JENGA

 **MattInTheMirror:** The way your phrased that sentence makes it seem like he had sex with Jenga adashahdk

 **Lame:** You're minds nasty Matt

 **MattInTheMirror** : I'll take that as a compliment.

 **Lame:** ANYWAY Edd made peace with Eduardo f i n a l l y

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** NO I DID NOT

 **MattInTheMirror:** EDD JENGA IS THE PERFECT GAME TO BOND WITH WITH FRIENDS

 **MattInTheMirror:** Why did you I use 2 withs

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** Wait.............

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** Am I friends with Eduardo???

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** Nah

 **Lame:** Boi

 

~

 

 _You have entered:_ **EVERYONE BUT EDUARDO + EDD**

 

 **Blue:** IM SCREAMING

 **Lame:** ???

 **Blue:** MARK IM SORRY

 **M. M.:** NO

 **Blue:** M A R K

 **M. M.:** N O

 **Lame:** What the fuck happened

 **Blue:** Nothing, nothing happened.

 **MattInTheMirror:** THATS SO ONOMINOUS WTF

 **M. M.:** OH SOMETHING DID HAPPEN

 **M. M.:** JON SPILLED JUICE ON MY SWEATER

 **Blue:** NO YOU WERE READING YOUR BOOK WHICH WAS JUST AN INCH FROM YOUR FACE AND THERE WAS LITTLE SPACE SO I T R I E D TO SQUEEZE PAST YOU BUT YOU DID S O M E T H I N G AND I ACCIDENTALLY SPILLED GRAPE JUICE ON YOU

 **Blue:** I SAID I WAS SORRY A THOUSAND TIMES MARK PLS LET IT GO

 **M. M.:** I WILL NOT THIS IS MY FAVORITE SWEATER

 **Blue:** YOU HAVE 11 MATCHING SWEATERS MARK ITS FINE

 **M. M.:** NOTHING IS FINE STAINS MAKE MY SWEATERS ITCHY THE TEXTURE DRIVES ME CRAZY YOU WOULDNT UNDERSTAND

 **M. M.:** NO ONE IN THIS W O R L D DOES

 **Blue:** Oh for fucks sake Mark it was GRAPE JUICE you won't even notice the stains

 **MattInTheMirror:** Question

 **MattInTheMirror:** why do you have 11 identical sweaters?

 **M. M.:** Why are you are a egotistical?

 **MattInTheMirror:** YOU KNOW WHAT MARK AT LEAST MY FACE ISNT AN ASS

 **M. M.:** LEAVE MY CHIN OUT OF THIS

 **MattInTheMirror:** THEN LEAVE MY "EGOTISTICAL" OUT OF THIS

 **MattInTheMirror:** BTW ITS SELF LOVE YOU UGLY ASS TRICK ASS DUMPSTER ASS BITCH

 **Lame:** This is a train wreck 

 **Lame:** And these two sides of the argument remind me of Edd and Eduardo

 **Blue:** Isn't funny how this is a GC without them and yet we talk about them in here

 **Blue:** I wonder what they're doing now

 

~

 

 _1 new chat from:_ **Numero Uno**

 

 **NumeroUno:** And THAT is why Billy Batson shouldn't be a part of the League

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** Ok ok those are really good points and evidence

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** And you phrased them well

 **NumeroUno:** Thanks!!!!

 **NumeroUno:** Theres a but isn't it

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** duh

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** When Billy becomes Captain Marvel he has powers that match Superman, someone who is SO powerful the world is like cardboard to him; he could break down ANYTHING easily. The fact that CM has powers that make him slightly equal to Superman in some way means that the JL have a chance to face bad guys!

 **NumeroUno:** Yeah league will be powerful bla bla bla

 **NumeroUno:** But what about Billy's wellbeing?? He's a kid who probably spent most of his life on the streets! And what if he gets seriously injured as CM???

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** Well maybe he shouldn't have followed the wizard!

 **NumeroUno:** DONT YOU DARE BLAME BILLY

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** IF I SAW SOME CREEPY ASS WRINKY ASS WIZARD TELLING ME TO COME CLOSER I WOULD HAVE RUN LIKE HELL WHO THE FUCK WOULD WANT TO FOLLOW HIS ORDERS

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** W H Y THE FUCK WOULD SOMEONE DO THAT

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** OH WAIT I KNOW WHY A DUMB KID

 **NumeroUno:** BILLY HAS THE WISDOM OF SOLOMAN HE IS FAR FROM DUMB YOU GREEN BITCH

 **NumeroUno:** /AND/ HE HAS STREET SMARTS

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** LISTEN TO ME ANY KID WITH KNOWS THE DONT TALK TO STRANGERS SHIT

 **NumeroUno:** YEAH THEYRE PARENTS TAUGHT THEM OH WAIT, BILLY DOESNT HAVE ANY YOU LIMP DICK HIPPIE

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** ..................... yo what if Batman adopted Billy

 **NumeroUno:** ...............

 **NumeroUno:** Im listening

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** Billy is an orphan, has dark hair and blue eyes, and his last nAME IS FUCKING BATSON

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** WHAT MORE DO YOU NEED

 **NumeroUno:** YESYESYEYESYSYYSEYES Y E S

 **NumeroUno:** ok so Alfred becomes his teacher

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** 100%

 

~

 

_1 new chat from:_ **Lame**

 

 **Lame:** Cheryll?

 **Lame:** Cheryll

 **Lame:** Cheryll

 **Lame:** Cheryll

 **Lame:** Cheryll

 **Lame:** Cheryll

 **Lame:** Cheryll

 **Lame:** Cheryll

 **Lame:** Cheryll

 **Lame:** Cheryll

 **Lame:** Cheryll

 **Lame:** Cheryll

 **CherryFromTheOutsiders:** what

 **Lame:** !!!!!

 **Lame:** Hey!

 **CherryFromTheOutsiders:** ....................

 **CherryFromTheOutsiders:** Tom?

 **Lame:** Yeah?

 **CherryFromTheOutsiders:** Its 3 am wtf are u doing texting me at 3 fuckin am

 **Lame:** I cant sleep bc I had ice cream and now im hyper

 **Lame:** Also I don't feel tired and then I realize I haven't talked to you in a week sooooooo whats up?

 **CherryFromTheOutsiders:** u were ignoring my calls and texts last week

 **Lame:** ..................

 **Lame:** Oops

 **CherryFromTheOutsiders:** look ill text u tmw right now I need sleep

 **Lame:** Ok

 **Lame:** Sorry Im hyper

 **CherryFromTheOutsiders:** its fine. get some sleep tom you'll regret it in the morning

 **Lame:** K. Gn

 **CherryFromTheOutsiders:** Gn

 

 

 

 

  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, Cheryll is one of Tom's friend. She likes alcohol, the wildlife, and is a reporter that manages to have a lot of free time.  
> I head cannon that because of Edd and Eduardo's obsession with superheroes as seen in PowerEdd they're interested in both Marvel AND DC. Edd likes Marvel more and Eduardo likes DC more  
> #BillyBatsonMustBeProtected
> 
> See ya next chapter, scouts!


	5. cherry in the group

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who is who:
> 
> Coca_Cola_Lover: Edd  
> Lame: Tom  
> MattInTheMirror: Matt  
> CherryFromTheOutsiders: Cheryl Williams

_You have entered:_ **Broccoli**

 

 **Lame:** Hey guys im gonna add my friend Cheryll into the chat

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** Who?

 **Lame:** You know, Cheryll. the friend I did bodyshots off of

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** Thats a pretty intimate thing to do witha friend Tom

 **Lame:** Barging into the bathroom and asking us if we're out of milk while one of us is in the middle of showering is pretty intimate too Edd not to mention an invasion of privacy but ok

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** IT HAPPENED ONE TIME

 **MattInTheMirror:** TWO TIMES YOU DID IT TO BOTH TOM AND I

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** I WAS IN A "FUCK IT I DONT CARE" MOOD LEAVE ME ALOOOOOOOONNEE

 **Lame:** Soooo........

 **Lame:** Can I add Cheryll

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** Yeah sure

 **MattInTheMirror:** New people!!!! :D

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** Its new person Matt

 **MattInTheMirror:** How do you know that

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** I paid attenton in English unlike you

 **MattInTheMirror:** fuck you

 **Lame** _has added_ **CherryFromTheOutsiders** _to the group:_ **Broccoli**

 

 **CherryFromTheOutsiders** : Sup hoes

 **Lame:** Cheryll no

 **CherryFromTheOutsiders:** Cheryll yes Tom you woke me up at 3 am if im gonna call people hoes IM GONNA CALL THEM HOES AND THERES NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO STOP ME!!!!!!!

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** Well that escelated quickly

 **CherryFromTheOutsiders:** AND i had to wake up at 5 this morning cause I have a job mate to leave me alone

 **MattInTheMirror:** HI IM MATT

 **CherryFromTheOutsiders:** HI MATT 

 **CherryFromTheOutsiders:** And Edd's the cola one I presume?

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** The one and only!

 **CherryFromTheOutsiders:** Nice to meet you guys!!

 **Lame:** (She may seem nice but shes mean in real life)

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** Tom!!! DOnt be rude!!!

 **Lame:** Edd Im rude to ALL of my friends

 **Lame:** How do you keep on forgetting that

 **CherryFromTheOutsiders:** AhHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAH HA WHAT are you talkng about Tom??? Im the nicest person EVER!!!! :)))) IM AN ANGEL :)))))))

 **MattInTheMirror:** I like you.

 **CherryFromTheOutsiders:** Damn right you should Im the best

 **MattInTheMirror:** I love you

 **CherryFromTheOutsiders:** GDSAHJDGAHJ

 **Lame:** *Edd's voice* Well that escelated quickly 

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** *Matt's voice* Indubitably 

 **MattInTheMirror:** STOPWIHDIAJKHNSAKNSJKA

 **CherryFromTheOutsiders:** Sorry Matt Im aro although I am flattered I got you to fall for me quickly ;)))

 **MattInTheMirror:** Whats that

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** What

 **CherryFromTheOutsiders:** It means that I experience little or no romantc attration to others. It doesnt mean I dont feel love at all Im just pretty satisfied with not being a girlfriend to someone. I found out after my fourth boyfriend in college

 **MattInTheMirror:** Oooooooooooooh

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** I read aro as afro omg

 **Lame:** AFRO EDDWHY

 **CherryFromTheOutsiders:** Actually never mind Im afro

 **CherryFromTheOutsiders:** Afromantic

 **Lame:** STOP DRAGGING YOURSELF

 **CherryFromTheOutsiders:** Stop hating yourself

 **Lame:** I dont hate myself

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** Are you sure Tom

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** Like are you fine or????

 **Lame:** Im good you guys

 **Lame:** I appreciate the concern and love tho

 **MattInTheMirror:** <3

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** <3

 **CherryFromTheOutsiders:** <3

 **MattInTheMirror:** DOES THIS MEAN YOULL JOIN ME IN TREAT YOURSELF FRIDAY™

 **Lame:** No

 **MattInTheMirror:** GOD DAMMIT

 **CherryFromTheOutsiders:** Whats treat yourself Friday™

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** Treat Yourself Friday™ is where every Friday, Matt sleeps in, eats a fruit sald for breakfast, goes to the spa for 3 hours and then comes back where goe up to his room, locks it, and listens to music while dancing or pampering himself.

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** Every. Single. Friday.

 **Lame:** You're forgetting the part when he suddenly screams sometimes for no apparent reason

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** E v e r y  s i n g l e  F r i d a y

 **CherryFromTheOutsiders:** I CANT STOP LAUGHING YOU GUYS HAVE IT MEMORIZED

 **MattInTheMirror:** Treat Yourself Friday™ is a day for self care and stress relief in any form that DOES NOT harm you or any person

 **MattInTheMirror:** Anyone is invited

 **CherryFromTheOutsiders:** SIgn me the fuck up

 **MattInTheMirror:** Sweet!!1! Hmu only on Fridays

 **Lame:** Matt you cant steal my friend wtf

 **MattInTheMirror:** Then stop stealing my food you bitch

 **Lame:** IT WAS A HANDFUL OF GRAPES

 **MattInTheMirror:** IT WAS TOO MUCH FOR A GREMLN LIKE YOU

 **Lame:** FUCK YOU MATT

 **MattInTheMirror:** YOU WISH

 **CherryFromTheOutsiders:** So Im a reporter

 **Lame:** NO I DONT WISH YOU SHRIVEL UP FRECKELED DICK

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** For what newspaper thing?

 **CherryFromTheOutsiders:** The Daily Scope. I just interview a bunch of people which takes longer than you can expect.

 **CherryFromTheOutsiders:** Im so happy its Saturday 

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** Must be a lot of work. Im an animator and I do a ton of comissions for people. You'd be surprised by how much people will give you money for an animation of people dancing

 **CherryFromTheOutsiders:** Wait are you the only guy in the house with a job? And aren't comissions not that expensive

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** Yep and yes but the people who I give comissions too give us enough money

 **MattInTheMirror:** And sometimes were busy with our adventures

 **CherryFromTheOutsiders:** Like when you guys joined the military and Edd got his ass beat twice?

 **Lame:** I dont rememebrr telling you that

 **CherryFromTheOutsiders:** I do /rememebrr/ you telling me that when you got shit-face drunk

 **Lame:** Shut up 

 **CherryFromTheOutsiders:** And you DID tell me that it was when we met at a bar and theres was one last bottle of vodka. We both ended up sharing it and we bonded

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** Oml was that during Valentines Day where for some odd reason we all avoided eachother and each had his own wacky adventure that reflects on our true selves?

 **MattInTheMirror:** WHDJBQAFDDB Y E S

 **MattInTheMirror:** I REMEMBER SEEING TOM WALKING DOWN THAT HALL AND JUST CLINGING TO THE FUCKING CEILING

 **Lame:** WHY THE FUCK DID WE DO THAT

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** IDK WE WANTED TO TRY SOMETHING NEW???

 **Lame:** EDD HIDIDNG IN THE CHIMNEY FOR 1 HOUR JUST BECAUSE MATT WAS WATCHING A MOVIE IN THE LIVING ROOM IS NOT SOMETHING NEW WE SHOULD TRY OUT EVER

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** S H U T  U P  Y O U  R U D E  A S S  D I C K

 **Lame:** You make a TON of ass and dick jokes Edd are you just sad that you can't get laid bc of your ugly crusty ass personality?

 **MattInTheMirror:** hOLY SHIT

 **CherryFromTheOutsiders:** AHSJDKADSFJKDNLASFJDLAS

 _Coca_Cola_Lover has left the group:_ **Brocolli**

 

 **CherryFromTheOutsiders:** Oh my fucking GOD

 **MattInTheMirror:** TOM DID YOU REALLY HAVE TO DO THAT

 **Lame:** I was threataned.

 **MattInTheMirror:** NO YOU WERENT

 **CherryFromTheOutsiders:** NO YOU WEREN'T

 **MattInTheMirror:** !!!!!!

 **CherryFromTheOutsiders:** !!!!

 **CherryFromTheOutsiders:** Wow we finish eachothers

 **MattInTheMirror:** What do we finish??? Sandwiches or something

 **CherryFromTheOutsiders:** ......................

 **Lame:** Sentences. Its sentences Matt

 **MattInTheMirror:** OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH

 **CherryFromTheOutsiders:** ANYWAY YALL ARE FUCKING WILD

 **CherryFromTheOutsiders:** LIKE TOM WHEN HES DRUNK IS AN ANIMAL BUT THE THREE OF YOU COMBINED???? 

 **CherryFromTheOutsiders:** FUCKING TASMANIANE DEVIL BABAY

 **MattInTheMirror:** And that means???

 **CherryFromTheOutsiders:** You all are my friends now. Prepare to be annoyed

 **MattInTheMirror:** !!!!!!!!!!!!!

 **MattInTheMirror:** :D[ :D[ :D[ :D[ :D[ :D[ :D[ :D[ :D[ :D[ :D[ :D[ :D[ :D[ :D[ :D[ :D[ :D[ :D[ :D[ :D[ :D[ :D[ :D[ :D[ :D[ :D[ :D[ :D[ 

 **Lame:** Omg what is this

 **MattInTheMirror:** Its me!!! 

 **MattInTheMirror:** The line under the face is suppose to be my chin............

 **CherryFromTheOutsiders:** Im confused what do you mean

 **MattInTheMirror** _has sent an image_

 

 **CherryFromTheOutsiders:** OK NOW I GET IT

 **CherryFromTheOutsiders:** NICE DUCK FACE BTW

 **MattInTheMirror:** THANK YOU

 **Lame:** IM WHEEZING M ATT WHY WOULD YOU MAKE THAT FACE

 **MattInTheMirror:** Cause I can do it better than you bitch

 **Lame:** Suck my dick

 **MattInTheMirror:** ew

 **CherryFromTheOutsiders:** ENOUGH OF T HIS

 

~

 

 _1 new chat from:_ **Coca_Cola_Lover**

 

 

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** Hey Tom

 **Lame:** Yeah

 **Coca_Cola_Lover** _has sent 1 image:_ **2006Tom**

 **Lame:** WHERE DID YOU GET THIS

 **Lame:** Edd?

 **Lame:** Edd please dont send this to anyone

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** Apologise.

 **Lame:** OK IM SORRY FOR SAYING YOURE CRUSTY

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** Man I could really go for a cola right now!

 **Lame:** ILL GET YOU A COLA JUST DO NT SHARE THAT WITH ANYONE

 **Lame:** HOW DID YOU EVEN G E T THAT

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** I have my ways

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** Also could you add me back into the chat

 **Lame:** Yeah sure

 

 **Lame** _has added_ **Coca_Cola_Lover** _to the group:_ **Brocoli**

 

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** <3

 **Lame:** Fuck you Edd. Fuck. You.

 **CherryFromTheOutsiders:** *Edd's voice* TOM STOP BEING SO RUDE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im gonna be more creative with the usernames I swear  
> Cheryl is the type of friend who is a worrying parent but is also pretty mean to her friends (she still loves them tho; were all mean to our friends) and loves wine, thats the approach I was going for. I made her aromantic because i am positive that there is someone who is exactly like Cheryl and representation. Also, if you are aromantic you are valid and I support you; anyone who insults you for being aro is an ass.  
> And yes I did reference Frozen and Tord's Adventure episode.  
> Fuck this is short too hope you guys enjoy! See ya in the next chapter scouts!


	6. Wild from start to finish

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who is Who:
> 
> Lame: Tom  
> MattInTheMirror: Matt  
> NumeroUno: Eduardo  
> Blue: Jon  
> M. M.: Mark  
> CherryFromTheOutsiders: Cheryl

_You have entered:_ **EVERYONE BUT EDURADO + EDD**

**MattInTheMirror** _has added_ **CherryFromTheOutsiders** _to the_ group

 

**MattInTheMirror:** HI GUYS THIS IS MY NEW FRIEND CHARLOTTE

**CherryFromTheOutsiders:** Mate its Cheryl

**MattInTheMirror:** Oh right. Sorry.

**MattInTheMirror:** *HI GUYS THIS IS MY NEW FRIEND CHERYLL

**Blue:** Hi Cheryl! Im Jon!

**CherryFromTheOutsiders:** Hello Jon

**Lame:**  I love how Matt just stole my friend

**Lame:** Just a gentle not so gentle reminder

**MattInTheMirror:** Yeah but she likes me more

**Lame:** No she doesnt

**MattInTheMirror:** Yes she does

**MattInTheMirror:** CHERYL WHO DO YOU LIKE MORE ME OR TOM

**CherryFromTheOutsiders:** .....................................I came here to have fun not to decide wether I would choose between a bowling ball or an orange so stfu you hoes and play nice

**MattInTheMirror:** DSHAJKGFSJKDBSJHAK

**Blue:** Well that happened

**CherryFromTheOutsiders:** ANYWAY Hi Im Cheryl, Im 27 and a reporter for the Daily Scope! I live with my friend Collin in a house in the city and I have a pet chameleon named Leo.

**Lame:** One time Leo stole a grape and brought me a button to make up for it

**CherryFromTheOutsiders:** He always does that

**CherryFromTheOutsiders:** I still dont understand how he got that I keep my buttons in a locked box

**Blue:** Do you lock the box?

**CherryFromTheOutsiders:** ShIT

**MattInTheMirror:** LMFAOOOOOOO

**Lame:** NIce Cherry. Nice

**CherryFromTheOutsiders:** Fuck off

**CherryFromTheOutsiders:** Fukcing noW IM ANXIOUS ABOUT RETURNING HOME AND SEEING LEO WITH BUTTONS IN HIS MOUTH

**CherryFromTheOutsiders:** AND IM STILL AT WORK

**CherryFromTheOutsiders:** F U C K

**MattInTheMirror:** HA

**CherryFromTheOutsiders:** SHUT UP

**CerryFromTheOutsiders:** TOM DO YOU STILL HAVE THAT SPARE KEY TO MY PLACE

**Lame:** Yeah

**CherryFromTheOutsiders:** COULD YOU BE A DEAR AND CHECK ON LEO ILL LET YOU EAT FROM MY PANTRY IF YOU DO

**Lame:** Already in the car lmao

**CherryFromTheOutsiders:** THANK YOU YOU LIL SHIT

**Blue:** That was wild from start to finish

**MattInTheMirror:** Indubitably 

**CherryFromTheOutsiders:** SO JON

**Blue:** Yessum?

**CherryFromTheOutsiders:** Tell me about yourself!

**Blue:** Uh

**MattInTheMirror:** Very eloquent 

**Blue:** Need I remind you of the time you and your friends tried your hands at construction 

**MattInTheMirror:** Why do you make it sound bad???

**Blue:** Cause you guys got beatan up by a ghost

**CherryFromTheOutsiders:** What

**MattInTheMirror:** Oh yeah apparently a ghost was haunting my house when he was suppose to be haunting Jon's

**MattInTheMirror:** Btw did that ghost leave???

**Blue:** Oh yeah we called these guys from Scotland

**Blue:**  Hunter something???? Idk 

**MattInTheMirror:** Huh

**CherryFromTheOutsiders:** Are you telling me that a ghost got the wrong house?

**MattInTheMirror:** Yep

**CherryFromTheOutsiders:** Ok

**Blue:** ANYWAY I live with my two friends, Mark and Eduardo, I like the color blue, I can play the ukelele 

**Blue:** Huh I just realized that I dont do much

**Blue:** Oh and I can do some magic tricks

**Blue:** Yep thats it

**CherryFromTheOutsiders:** I LOVE THE SOUND OF A UKELELE ITS SO SOOTHING

**Blue:** Thanks You!!!!

**CherryFromTheOutsiders:** OK so Ive heard that people who play string instruments get the skin on the fingers cut off??? Is that true????

**Blue:** Yeah...... the strings cuts us a little bit if we press too hard but not too much to bleed

**MattInTheMirror:** So half-chopped fingers?

**Blue:** Yep

**MattInTheMirror:** Ew

**Blue:**  No but imagne youre a guitar player from the medival times and people see your half-chopped and they see them as battle scars????

**CherryFromTheOutsiders:** "GOOD SIR! THOU HAVE BESTED MANY NOTES THIS DAY!"

**MattInTheMirror:** DBJSKANDJAKS

**M. M.:** Oh what is happening

**MattInTheMirror:** New friends!!!

**CherryFromTheOutsiders:** Hi!

**M. M.:** Hello.

**M. M.:** I'm Mark

**CherryFromTheOutsiders:** Im Cheryl

**MattInTheMirror:** God you guys sound like robots. Spice it up a little!

**CherryFromTheOutsiders:** SUP HOE IM CHERYL AND THAT FUCKER ^ HAS ISSUES

**MattInTheMirror:** THATS WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT

**Lame:** Wait Cheryl arent you at work??

**CherryFromTheOutsiders:** Yeah but no one does anyting on Mondays not even my bus so thats why Im on my phone

**CherryFromTheOutsiders:** Some people are doing work but the others are acting like lil shits

**CherryFromTheOutsiders:** SOMEONE JUST STOLE MY FUCKING COFFEE WTF

**Blue:** Oh dear god

**CherryFromTheOutsiders:** IM GONNA SHOVE MY SHOES UP HIS ASS THAT DICK

**MattInTheMirror:** GO GIRL GO

**MattInTheMirror:** Oh wait she cant see this

**M. M.:** H OLY SHITS

**MattInTheMirror:**?????

**Blue:** Mark?

**M. M.:** CHERYL READS THE OUTSIDERS

**MattInTheMirror:** ""Holy shits""???

**M. M.:** Stfu you ugly ass trick ass hoe MOTHERFUCKER

**MattInTheMirror:** BFADHSKB CJK

**Blue:** ENOUGH

**MattInTheMirror:** WHATS THE OUTSIDERS THO

**M. M.:** HE OUTSIDERS IS A BOOK BY S. E. HINTON ABOUT THE LOWER CLASS AND THE UPPER CLASS STRUGGLING WITH A HINT OF ANGST AND FLUFF

**M. M.:** Ok I take it back theres a lot of angst

**Blue:** WELL THEN

**MattInTheMirror:** Uh how do you know she read the Outbacks?

**M. M.:** Its Outsiders you hairy asshole

**MattInTheMirror:** It was a simple mistake you limp dick nerd

**Lame:** IM WHEEZING THESE TEXTS ARE SO RAGE-FILLED

**M. M.:** I dont think thats a proper way to define that

**Lame:** Well how would you describe it

**M. M.:** Hostile?

**Blue:** Intense?

**MattInTheMirror:** Really pissed off?

**Lame:** Lets go with all 3

**CherryFromTheOutsiders:** I FUCKING HATE MY CO WORKERS

**Blue:** Did you get your coffee back?

**CherryFromTheOutsiders:** NO

**CherryFromTheOutsiders:** THOSE JACKASSES DECIDED TO MIX COFFEE DRINKS AND WHEN THEY SAW ME COMING ONE OF THEM CHUCKED IT INTO THE SINK

**CherryFromTheOutsiders:** AND THEN /I/ HAD TO CLEAN IT UP

**CherryFromTheOutsiders:** I HOPE THEY GO INTO A COMA WITH ALL THE CAFFINE THEYRE DRINKING

**Blue:** Thats a little extreme

**Lame:** Cheryl my dearest friend........get a new one

**CherryFromTheOutsiders:** But

**CherryFromTheOutsiders:** The coffe maker is s o f ar awaaaaaaay

**Lame:** Omg

**M. M.:** CHERYL DO YOU READ THE OUTSIDERS

**CherryFromTheOutsiders:** Uh yeah? WHy do you?

**M. M.:** I've read it more times than I can count 

**M. M.:** CAN WE JUST AGREE THAT SODAPOP DESERVES THE WORLD AND THAT HIS ''GIRLFRIEND'' IS TRASH

**CherryFromTheOutsiders:** UH YEAH

**CherryFromTheOutsiders:** SODA IS MY FUCKING SON AND THE FACT THAT SANDY CHEATED ON HIM MAKES ME SO MAD

**M. M.:** AND I LOVE HOW THEY GAVE SODA MORE CHARACTERS DEVELOPEMENT AT THE END BC IT KINDA MOVED AWAY FROM PONYBOY MOURNING OVER DALLAS AND JOHNNY /AND/ HAVING TROUBLE WITH SCHOOL AND LIFE

**CherryFromTheOutsiders:** Y E S

**CherryFromTheOutsiders:** Oh God dont forget about Darry tho. He had to grow up too fast and be more mature for his brothers and I get why he pushed Pony for better grades I get it but he is so strict but thats what he  had to be for his bros

**CherryFromTheOutsiders:** And Johnny..................

**CherryFromTheOutsiders:** Dear GOD Johnny......................

**MattInTheMirror:** ......................................

**Lame:** Tfw you have NO idea what they're talking about but you DO know that this kiwi pie from Cheryl's is delicious 

**Blue:** *Kiwie

**Lame:** No its kiwi

**Blue:** Im pretty sure its kiwie

**Lame:** Its kiwi Jon

**MattInTheMirror:** Im with Tom its kiwi

**MattInTheMirror:** Why does the letter "I" sound like an e sometimes

**Lame:** Hell if I know

**CherryFromTheOutsiders:** YOU HEATHANS STOP TALKING ABOUT THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE SO THAT MARK AND I TALK ABOUT THE OUTSIDERS

**Lame:** NO CHERYL I HAD TO SPEND HOURS LISTENING TO YOU SCREAM ABUT SOME FICTIONAL CHARACTERS FROM GODAMN BOOKS WHEN I WANTED TO TALK ABOUT MOVIES SO LET ME, MATT AND JON FIND OUT HOW TO SPELL KIWI

**Lame:** AND FOR THE LAST TIME VICTOR KRUM  OR TWO-BIT MATHEWS OR GALE HAWTHORN WILL N E V E R GIVE YOU HEAD GET OVER IT BITCH AND FACE THE MUSIC

**MattInTheMirror:** I CHOCKDE ON MY WATE

**Blue:** Dear Heavanly Father in Heavan, forgive us.

**M. M.:** It's too late

**CherryFromTheOutsiders:** OH YEAH WELL LOKI NOR THOR WILL EVER SLIDE INTO YOUR DMS AND PIETRO IS NEVER COMING BACK

**Lame:** YOULL NEVER GO TO HOGWARTS

**M. M.:** HEYHEYHEYHEYHEY

**M. M.:** YOU CAN SCREAM WHATEVER BUT YOU DO /NOT/ BRING UP HOGWARTS

**M. M.:** AND THERES A CHANCE

**CherryFromTheOutsiders:** THANK YOU

**Lame:** NO THERE ISNT

**Blue:** No there isnt Mark

**M. M.:** SHUT YOUR MOUTH!

**Lame:** THERES NO TIME TRAVELING DOCTOR COMING TO SAVE YOU CHERYL GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER

**CherryFromTheOutsiders:** I WILL BE SAVED YOU ATHEIST

**Lame:** IM A JEHOVAS WITNESS

**Blue:** !!!!!! 

**CherryFromTheOutsiders:** NO YOUR BESMERCHING ON MY RELIGION AND INFRINGING ON MY RIGHTS AS SOMEONE WHO JUST WANTS A FIRE WHISKEY

**Lame:** INFRINGE AND BESMERCH ON THIS ASS YOU FUCKING CRAZY ASS CUM COVERED CONDOM

**MattInTheMirror:** IM SCREMINGGUYS OPLEASRE

**Blue:** Our Father........who Art in Heavan

**CherryFromTheOutsiders:** Guys one time Tom snorted Smirnoff for another bottle of Smirnoff 

**MattInTheMirror:** Oh yeah that was a fun trip to the hospital. I made some kids day according to ther parents

**Lame:** Cheryl has been kicked out of several Ikeas, has shoved a half eaten donut down her pants, hooked up with a police officer on duty while the same officer was giving her a ticket and got him fired, and drove 5 miles to check on one of her friends when she was in France.

**Lame:** She once drove for 7 hours for a puppy

**MattInTheMirror:** GDHSAKDSJANCJLKJDNFKALDSNDFLKA

**CherryFromTheOutsiders:** LEAVE ME ALOOOOOOOOONNE

**CherryFromTheOutsiders:** IM JUST SOMEONE WHO CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRES

**M. M.:** You care about the feeling of a donut in your pants?

**CherryFromTheOutsiders** _has left the group:_ **EVERYONE BUT EDUARDO + EDD**

**Lame:** I CNT BREATHE

**Blue:** THE PUPPY ONE IS RELATABLE

**MattInTheMirror:** WHY WOULD YOU DRIVE 7 HOURS A DOG

**Blue:** WHY NOT

**MattInTheMirror:** UGH

**Blue:** Matt

**Blue:** Do you not like dogs???

**MattInTheMirror:** Im allergic to them

**Lame:** Hes allergic to them

**MattInTheMirror:** But no I dont like dogs

**Blue** _has left the group:_ **EVERYONE BUT EDUARDO + EDD**

 

**MattInTheMirror:** ????

**MattInTheMirror:** Was it something I said

**M. M.:** Jon loves animals so and says anyone who does'nt can rot

**M. M.:** So yeah you did say something wrong

**M. M.:** Reminds me of the time he left one of my great-uncles funerals because one of my cousins said she hated pigs

**MattInTheMirror:** OMG

**M. M.:** But then I found out she hated food made out of pigs

**MattInTheMirror:** DEAR LORD

 

~

 

_You have entered the group:_ **NO**

 

**M. M.:** EDUARDO REMEMBER MY GREAT UNCLE'S MICHAELS FUNERAL?

**NumeroUno:** ????

**M. M.:** THE ONE WHEN JON LEFT US IN DENMARK

**NumeroUno:** HA HA

**NumeroUno:** YEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

 

**NumeroUno:** I REMEMBER WALKING IN OUR HOTEL ROOM AND GOING????? BC I COULDNT SEE JON SO I TECTED HIM

**M. M.:** *Texted

**NumeroUno:** YES THAT

**NumeroUno:** AND HE FUKCIGN SAID HE WAS ON THE PLAIN BACK TO BRITAIN I THOUGHT HE WAS JOKING BUT THEN HE SENT ME A PICDBASDNJKSNAK

**NumeroUno:** GAVE ME A GODAMN HEART ATTACK

**Blue:** Oh I forgot to tell you!!!!!

**Blue:** I asked some farmer to put pigs in Mureal's house

**M. M.:** YOU DID WHAT

**Blue:** Yeah........I think she tried to get me arrested but we made up a little

**NumeroUno:** WHAT THE FUCK JON

**Blue:** She doesnt like pigs!!!!!!

**M. M.:** THW FOOD SHE DOES'NT LIKE THE FOOD

**M. M.:** PORK CHOPS, BACON, SASUAGE, HAM, ALL THAT GOOD STUFF.

**M. M.:** NOT THE ANIMAL

**Blue:** Oops

**NumeroUno:** JON HOW CAN YOU FUCK UP THAT BADLY DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MCH THAT TICKET COSTED US

**Blue:** Im sorry!!!!!!

**M. M.:** Please tell me you apologised 

**Blue:** At first I didnt want to but when she called I did

**NumeroUno:** Idiot

**Blue:** :((((((((

Blue: I said I was sorry

**NumeroUno:** WE THOUGHT YOUR WERE KIDNAPPED SORRY ISNT ENOUGH

 

~

 

_1 new chat from:_ **M.M.**

 

**M. M.:** Hey, Cheryl. This is Mark.

_1 new image has been sent to the group_

**CherryFromTheOutsiders:** Hey Mark!

**CherryFromTheOutsiders:** Let me guess you wanna talk about books? Well buckle your fuckles

_1 new image has been sent to the group_

**M. M.:** You died your hair tips red?

**M. M.:** And is it wrong that I thought you were white when really your black?

**CherryFromTheOutsiders:** 1\. yeah and I cut my hair to my shoulders 2. Idk

**CherryFromTheOutsiders:** So have you heard of this book called Cuckoo Song? 

**M. M.:** Do tell

 

~

 

_1 new chat from:_ **Blue**

 

**Blue:** Its kiwie

**Lame:** YOU KNOW WHAT 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> School has started so I may be a little slow on the updates. Had tons of fun writitng this and for once no Edd! And dont you dare tell me Jon wouldnt be so offended if someone said they didnt like animals   
> See ya in the next chapter scouts!


	7. Self care is throwing trash into a hole in your friend's ceiling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who is who: 
> 
> Coca_Cola_Lover: Edd  
> MattInTheMirror: Matt  
> Lame: Tom

_You have entered:_ **Brocoli**

 

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** Uh guys theres a hole in my wall

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** I mean my ceiling

**MattInTheMirror:** ????

**Lame:** what do you mean

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** There is a perfect black circle in my celing

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** Or is it on???

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** idk I need something to poke in it to make sure nothings in there do we still have that steak from last night

**Lame:** Yeah

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** Excellent now all I need is a stick

**MattInTheMirror:** Wait how do you know the hole is a hole

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** I threw one of my pencils at it

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** It went in and never came back

**Lame:** How in the fuck does that happen

**MattInTheMirror:** I WANNA TRY

**MattInTheMirror:** IM GONNA THROW THAT RANDOM DICTIONARY WE HAVE

**MattInTheMirror:** Where is it????

**Lame:** Under the table in the living room

**MattInTheMirror:** GOT IT

**Lame:** WHY ARE YOU RUNNING SO HARD

**MattInTheMirror:** I AM EXCITE

**Lame:** mate

**MattInTheMirror:** Leave me alone

**MattInTheMirror:** Ok the hole is huge

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** I KNOW RIGHT

**MattInTheMirror:** Alright, Professor Matthew is now going to hurl this book into the hole in Edward's ceiling

**MattInTheMirror:** In 3

**MattInTheMirror:** 2

**MattInTheMirror:** 1

**Lame:** Well?

**MattInTheMirror:** THE BOOK IS GONE

**MattInTheMirror:** IT DDIDNT COME BACK AND I DIDNT HEAR IT WTF IS THIS EDD WHAT DID YOU DO

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** WHY ARE YOU BLAMING ME I DIDNT DO ANYTHING

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** IM JUST TRYING TO STAB THIS PEICE OF STEAK GUYS

**MattInTheMirror:** THIS FREAKING ME OUT TOM CAN YOU PLEEEEEAAASE COME HERE

**Lame:** Dont be a baby

**MattInTheMirror:** Then dont be a bitch

**Lame:** Stfu Im coming 

**Lame:** Aaaannnnnnd Edd has steak on a ruler

**MattInTheMirror:** ?????

**MattInTheMirror:** You........mean a stick?

**Lame:** No, our only ruler

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** Leave me alone I didnt want to carry it

**Lame:** Holy frosting on a piece of biscuit that hole is a size of a large fruit

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** What large fruit?

**MattInTheMirror:** A watermelon?

**Lame:** Thats the bitch

**MattInTheMirror:** HEY 

**Lame:** Matt I couldnt have been more than talking about the fruit

**MattInTheMirror:** I gtg to the loo brb

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** EGFUHJGDSBAJDKAB

**Lame:** Ok how are you able to type while carrying a stick

**Lame:** I honestly have no idea

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** Ok time to shove this steak stick up that black holes ass

**Lame:** Uh

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** Matt stop hiding in the loo and get out here 

**MattInTheMirror:** Tom needs to apologise first right Tom

**MattInTheMirror:** Tom?

**MattInTheMirror:** Tom apologise

**MattInTheMirror:** Fine then Ill just stay here!

**MattInTheMirror:** Wait no Im hungry I want a popsicle 

**MattInTheMirror:** Uh where r u guys??

**MattInTheMirror:** Guys???

**MattInTheMirror:** GUYS

**MattInTheMirror:** Oh wait I see the ruler hold on

 

~

 

**Lame:** ITS COLD AS BALLS HERE

**MattInTheMirror:** Where is ""here"" tho

**Lame:** The hole

**Lame:** We are in the hole.

**Lame:** Ok I cant see shit BUT I can see you guys

**MattInTheMirror:** WHAT PULLED YOU GUYS UP HERE

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** I......dont know 

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** I stuck the steak in the hole and nothing happened and then I saw these yellow eyes just blink at me and I was yanked here

**Lame:** I grabbed on and tried to pull him down!

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** Im p sure that the ruler is gone sooo we're gonna need to buy another ruler when we leave

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** Well atleast the situation can't get any DARK

**MattInTheMirror:** Dont

**Lame:** DONT

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** Goddamn fine

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** What is that

**MattInTheMirror:** What is what

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** Follow my finger

**Lame:** Why are we texting eachother we're right next to eachother

**Lame:** Ok lets not talk cause I can see what Edd's pointing at

**MattInTheMirror:** What

**MattInTheMirror:** Oh shit I see it

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** Well the yellow eyes

**Lame:** Yeah

**Lame:** WHY ARE THEY GETTING CLOSER

**MattInTheMirror:** FUCK IT IS GETTIG CLOSER

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** ""getting""

**Lame:** NOW IS NOT THE TIME EDD

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** OK DONT MOVE YOU MIGHT STARTLE IT

**MattInTheMirror:** It pushed somethnng in my hand sahkdhbk

**MattInTheMirror:** Its long

**MattInTheMirror:** Its wooden

**MattInTheMirror:** OH GROSS ITS WET WTF

**Lame:** The fuck is that the ruler

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** I cant see it lets get out of here

**Lame:** k

**MattInTheMirror:** KK

 

~

 

**Lame:** I still cant belive theres some furry beast with yellow eyes up in this hole that bit half of our ruler

**MattInTheMirror:** Was the ruler that good?

**Lame:** ...................Oh Matt

**MattInTheMirror:** What

**Lame:** Can we move this thing tho

**MattInTheMirror:** What type of idea is that

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** A /hole-y/ shit idea :DDD

**MattInTheMirror:** D o n t

**Lame:** Dont

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** GODDAMMIT

**Lame:** No but seriously can we move the hole

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** Only one way to find out

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** Matt try to move it

**MattInTheMirror:** WHY ME?!?!?!

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** Ringo is on me and I cant move her

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** And youre the second tallest

**MattInTheMirror:** BUT WHAT IF WHATVERS UP THERE BITES ME???

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**MattInTheMirror:** Bitch.......

**MattInTheMirror:** IM NOT DOING IT GUYS

**Lame:** Even if that thing bites you your hands will heal

**MattInTheMirror:** THATLL TAKE TOO LONG THO

**Lame:** Like I said: dont be a baby

**MattInTheMirror:** And like I said: dont be a bitch

**Lame:** Oh fuck you

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** Fine Ill do it

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** Ringo's gonna be pissed at me tho

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** THERE IT IS SHE JUST GAVE ME THAT SIDEWAYS GLANCE FILLED WITH DMAN VENOM SUGAR BABY IM SORRY

**Lame:** ""Sugar baby""

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** Tom you make out with a fucking guitar dont even

**Lame:** HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TO EDUCATE YOU LIL SHITS SUSAN IS A BASS GUITAR! B-A-S-S GUITAR SHE IS NOT JUST SOME WOODY, UNTINED PIECE OF INSTRUMENT SHE IS MY LIFE, MY SUN, THE BEST THING IN MY LIFE I NEVER LOOSE SIGHT OF HER! EVER! THE MINUTE WE TOUCHED I GOT THIS FEELING THAT WE WOULD BE IN THE FUCKING LONG RUN AND WE ARE WE'RE STILL KICKING ASS EVEN WITH DUCTAPE ON US! ANYTIME IM DOWN, SUSANS THERE AND VIS VERSA SO THE NEXT TIME YOU GUYS TRI TO DRAG ME AND SUSAN REMEMBER THIS! REMEBER WHAT SUSAN MEANS TO ME

**Lame:** R E M E M B E R

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** Can you get the step stool

**Lame:** WILL YOU REMEMBER YOU COLA OBSESSED ASSHOLE

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** YES I WILL REMEMBER GOD JUST GET THE STEP STOOL

**Lame:** I SHALL

**MattInTheMirror:** That............was the most poetic yet violent thing Ive read

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** Agreed

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** Alright time to try and move this thing

**Lame:** Im gonna record this

**Lame:** 3

**MattInTheMirror:** 2

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** 1

**Lame:** GO

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** Its..............like paper

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** It makes the "wbWbbWbWbWbWWbwBBWww" noise

**MattInTheMirror:** What

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** Here

**MattInTheMirror:** IT DOES I LOVE THAT NOISE

**MattInTheMirror:** CAN YOU THROW IT LIKE A FRSBEE

**Lame:** I /THINK/ YOU CAN THROW IT LIKE A FRISBE

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** YOU GUYS WANNA SEE IF WE CAN THROW IT LIKE A FRISBEE

**Lame:** YEAH LETS SEE

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** LETS SEE

**MattInTheMirror:** L E T S S E E

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** lmao here it goes

**MattInTheMirror:** Dear GOD that was loud

**MattInTheMirror:** Can we throw stuff in it????

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** I mean.......the dictionary disappeared along with the steak and my pencil.........i guess its kinda like a black hole

**Lame:** Oh good I have a ton of shit I want to throw out

**MattInTheMirror:** So......Spring Cleaning 

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** Its October Matt

**MattInTheMirror:** *Fall Cleaning 

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** #FallCleaning

**Lame:** Lets regroup in 20 min

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** Got it

**MattInTheMirror:** D ISPERSE

 

~

 

**MattInTheMirror:** TOM DONT NO DO MT

**Lame:** Too bahdjsakhdhjasq321q2w......

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** Uh what is happening 

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** WHO IS SCREAMING

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** GUYS?????

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** GUYS PLS ANSWER ME

**MattInTheMirror:** EDSAD AFGET T E TAPE TOM HAS GT TH T

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** Hold up let me come up

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** Oh

 

~

 

**Lame:** Matt are you still mad

**MattInTheMirror:** Oh noooo Im absolutely chipper!

**Lame:**..................

**MattInTheMirror:** YES IM STILL MAD THAT WAS MINE YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO THROW THAT AWAY

**Lame:** I was doing the world a favor Matt No one wants to see that OR. hear it

**MattInTheMirror:** I HOPE YOU ROT IN HELL YOU UGLY ASS DUMSPTER ASS PIECE OF SHIT

**Lame:** Sticks and stones, mate. Sticks and stones.

**Lame:** I have saved the world from you horror..........nothing you say or do can ever make me feel ANY regret.

**MattInTheMirror:** FUCK YOU

**Lame:** Yeah you wish

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** Tom how did you even find that tape

**MattInTheMirror:** TOM DONT YOU DARE

**Lame:** Matt has it in his first drawer by his bed

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** BDSAJKEHQIUWHFBHBHJBXCJH

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** IM CRYING EHAT EVEN

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** AND IT WAS /THAT/ TAPE

**Lame:** Y E S

**MattInTheMirror:** SHUT UP AS IF YOU GUYS ARENT DIRTY MINDED

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** Yeah but atleast we dont fuck ourselves

**MattInTheMirror:** Thats it, Im leaving

**MattInTheMirror:** Im not coming back

**MattInTheMirror:** Bye bitches

**MattInTheMirror** _has left the group:_ **Brocoli**

 

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** More like Matt LEFT THE HOUSE LMAO

**Lame:** HE DID OML

**Lame:** WELP lets forget about that poor son of a bitch and get back to fall cleaning

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** Agreed 

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** This is kinda like self care right?

**Lame:** No its not

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** :(

 

~

 

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** The hell I just saw something crawl through the cat door

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** Its not Ringo shes sleeping in my room

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** Then again I havent eatan anything since breakfast

**Coca_Cola_Lover:** Time for some bacon!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey look, an EDDventure in text form.  
> You know that epsiode from Johnny Test where there was this black hole. Yeah I got inspired from that. Originally, I wanted to copy Tomska's 'The Hole' video but this one was more fun to write  
> Cupcakes to anyone who knows what tape Tom threw away.  
> And Im planning on the creature from the hole to reappear agin later in the future. You'll find out its origins sooner or later!  
> I hope this chapter was good. See ya next time scouts!


	8. Its never boring with the neighbors

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who is who: 
> 
> NumeroUno: Eduardo  
> Blue: Jon  
> M. M.: Mark

_You have entered the group:_ **NO**

 

**NumerUno:** uh Jon where are u??

**Blue:** We ran out of milk and eggs so Im at the store to get some

**Blue:** Im inline!!!

**M. M.:** You forgot the space

**Blue:** Its too early Mark

**M. M.:** Still...

**NumeroUno:**  do we still have cereal??

**M. M.:** Edurado you are literally standing right next to me

**NumeroUno:** Im still tired Mark leave me alone

**NumeroUno:**  besides I need my coffee

**M. M.:** Eduardo I dont think you should be drinking your coffee anymore

**NumeroUno:**  why not???

**M. M.:**  Are you kidding me? It literally has radiation in it

**M.M.:** Also, our toilet is green

**Blue:** IT IS????

**M. M.:** It is and ITS GLOWING EDUARDO

**M. M.:** GLOWING

**NumeroUno:**  oh 

**NumeroUno:**  uh

**NumeroUno:**  I cant belive Im saying this but Im sorry for my radioactive shit

**M. M.:** I'll accept that apology when you throw that coffee out

**NumeroUno:**  but its so goooood

**M. M.:** Do you not understand what radiation is? What were you doing during chemistry?!?!?

**NumeroUno:**  making up late work in English

**Blue:** SO Im just gonna get some toilet cleaning soap thing

**M. M.:** Get the lime one

**Blue:** Why???

**M. M.:** Lime is amazing

**NumeroUno:**  lime sucks

**M. M.:** YOU don't get to talk you toxic-loving coffee FREAK

**Blue:** I was just about to buy the milk and eggs I was the two people away from the line :c

**NumeroUno:**  that "I'm two people away" part sounds very murdery

**Blue:** Is murdery even a word?

**NumeroUno:** IT IS NOW

**M. M.:** Oh God you drank the coffee

**NumeroUno:** FUCK YEAH I DID I FEEL MORE ALIVE HAHA

**NumeroUno:** OK imagine that HA HA in like a triumphate voice

**M. M.:** Or tone

**Blue:** Write a book Mark

**M. M.:** WHo says I haven't

**M. M.:** *Who

**Blue:** WAIT HAVE YOU WRITTEN A BOOK?!?!?!?

**M. M.:** ..........No

**NumeroUno:** Then why did u type that

**M. M.:** It seemed like the right thing to say

**NumeroUno:** Yeah u might wanna stop doing that "It seemed like the right thing to say" shit

**NumeroUno:** I remember one time my aunt said "I'd DIE if I met an actor" and u said "better prepare for your funeral" and fucking winked

**M. M.:** And?

**NumeroUno:** U DONT WINK AT YOUR FRIEND'S AUNT MAN AND SHE ALMOST PASSED OUT IN THE BATHROOM SHE BELIEVED U

**M. M.:** OOPS

**Blue:** Omg

**M. M.:** BUT SHES OK RIGHT

**NumeroUno:** YES BUT SHE WAS PISSED WHEN I TOLD HER THAT YOU WERE LYING

**M. M.:** SORRY

**M. M.:** I DO need to work on that

**NumeroUno:** Yeah

**NumeroUno:** If u talk to me about my coffee I swear I'll block u

**M. M.:** So about your radiactive coffee

**M. M.:** WTF How'd you know that I would talk to you about your coffee

**NumeroUno:** I GUESSED I DIDNT REALIZE I WAS RIGHT SHJA

**NumeroUno:** That and I saw the grey bubble appear

**Blue:** Ok I got the lime toilet soap anything else??

**NumeroUno:** No come hom I want an omelete

**Blue:** On my way!

**Blue:** THIS LINE IS TOO LONG DAMMIT

**M. M.:** Well that escelated quickly

 

~

 

**Blue:** Im bored

**NumeroUno:** Yeah me too

**M. M.:** Im making origami!

**NumeroUno:** Like paper cranes???

**M. M.:** It's more than just cranes, you uncultered piece of scum

**NumeroUno:** I DIDNT EVEN INSULT YOU I JUST ASKED A SIMPLE QUESTION DONT CALL ME SCUM

**M. M.:** I WILL CALL YOU SCUM

**NumeroUno:** FINE THAN IM CALLING YOU AN ASS

**Blue:** Pls dont

**M. M.:** FINE

**NumeroUno:** This isn't over

**M. M.:** I

**M. M.:** Anyway, we can make some complex orgamis

**M. M.:** I can't get this paring mantis one right

**Bue:** I'll help!!!!

**M. M.:** No

**Blue:** :((((

**M. M.:** No offense, Jon, but the last time you helped me with a paper, I ended up getting expelled, the college called the police, and we somehow hacked into Egypt's goverment.

**NumeroUno:** When the fuck did this happen

**M. M.:** When you went to America

**NumeroUno:** I WAS THERE FOR THE WEEKEND HOW THE FUCK DID U GUYS GET THE POLICE INVOLVED OVER A PAPER

**Blue:** SO about that praying mantis Mark!

**NumeroUno:** NO I WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED

**Blue:** IM NOT TELLING YOU

**NumeroUno:** WHY NOT

**Blue:** You DONT want to know how this happened.

**M. M.:** We took an oath.

**NumeroUno:** I

**NumeroUno:** ok I'll drop it

**M. M.:** Good now come up here and learn how to make a penguin out of paper

**NumeroUno:** This is my life now

 

~

 

**Blue:** MARK COME BACK

**M. M.:** No

**Blue:** MARK

**M. M.:** NO

**M. M.:** NOT UNTIL YOU TELL ME

**Blue:** TELL YOU WHAT

**M. M.:** HOW THE FUCK WERE YOU ABLE TO FIX IT

**NumeroUno:** HJKSAK LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

**M. M.:** LET ME SET THE STAGE

**M. M.:** JON COMES BOUNCING INTO THE ROOM LIKE FUCKING TIGGER AND PROCEEDS TO BODY SLAM MY PRAYING MANTIS INTO MY BED

**M. M.:** ALL IN 5 SECONDS MIGHT I ADD

**NumeroUno:** HASJKASN

**Blue:** MARK I AM BEGGING

**M. M.:** Then beg

**Blue:** I

**M. M.:** AND THEN BECAUSE OF SOME WITHCRAFT-VOODOO SHIT

**M. M.:** YOU PICK UP MY DEAD MANTIS AND PROCEED TO SMOOTH IT OUT LKE ITS DOUGH LIKE NO MATE TJIS IS NOT HELL'S KITCHEN GET THE FUCK OFF MY MANTIS

**M. M.:** AND MY MANTIS, YOU ASK???

**M. M.:** Is. Fine.

**NumeroUno:** Oh dear god

**M. M.:** Completely. Wrinkeled. Free.

**Blue:**.................are you done?

**M. M.:** NO I AM NOT DONE HOW THE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT

**Blue:** I DONT KNOW OK I JUST PUSHED DOWN ON IT AND IT CAME UP LIKE THAT

**M. M.:** BULLSHIT

**Blue:** ITS THE TRUTH

**Blue:** EDDIE TELL HIM TELL HIM

**Blue:** STOP LAUGHING

**NumeroUno:** IM SORRY BUT YOR DACEJSHJKHDAJK

**NumeroUno:** No but seriously Jon what did u do

**Blue:** FOR THE LAST TIME I DIDNT DO ANYTHING

**M. M.:** B U L L S H I T

**Blue:** HERE YOU TRY

**M. M.:** Wait what

**Blue:** eDUARDO AJBNO

**M. M.:** Oh GOD WHAT DID HE DO NOW

**Blue:** He smashed the mantis again

**M. M.:** MY MANTIS

M. M.: I SPENT 4 HOURS ON THAT

**Blue:** FOUR HOURS OF WORK GONE BC OF SOMEONES FAT MEATY PAWS LMAO

**NumeroUno:** WHAT THE HELL DID YOU SAY, PUNK

**Blue:** FAT

**Blue:** MEATY

**Blue:** PAWS

**M. M.:** AND THEY'RE SWEATY TOO. ANYTIME YOU HAND ME SOMETHING ITS DAMP

**NumeroUno:** THATS NOT TRUE

**Blue:** Oh Its true

**NumeroUno:** It is???

**Blue:** Yeah.......you should go see a doctor 

**NumeroUno:** WHY DIDNT ANY OF YOU TELL ME

**M. M.:** We didn't want to be rude!

**NumeroUno:** Mark Jon LITERALLy insulted my hands and you just locked yourseld in the bathroom which you said was rude as f

**M. M.:** You should go to the doctor

**NumeroUno:** I will after I fix this grasshopper

**M. M.:** ITS A PRAYING MANTIS YOU CRUSTY PIECE OF SHIT

**Blue:** OMG ITS FIXED

**M. M.:** What

**NumeroUno:** THE MANTIS IS FIXED

**Blue:** Its wet too Eddie go to a doctor

**NumeroUno:** yes, M O M

**M. M.:** No you have to be joking

**Blue:** Come out and see!

 

~

 

**NumeroUno:** So I called my doctor and Im going over tmw for an appointment

**Blue:** Mark wont stop asking about the mantis h e l p me

**M. M.:** This is for research Jon now shut up

**Blue:** IM GETTING ANSTY MATE

**M. M.:** Oh, you can move, but not until you explain to me how you did it

**Blue:** I DONT KNOW

**Blue:** FOR THE TWELTH TIME! I! DONT! KNOW!

**M. M.:** WELL I NEED TO KNOW

**NumeroUno:** The desire to know can block others feelings torwards the path. In a way, it blinds us and in the end we only see the damage we caused, not the answer.

**M. M.:**........................

**Blue:**............................................

**Blue:** what

**M. M.:** what

**NumeroUno:** Im gonna lie down

**NumeroUno:** wake me when the house is burning down

**Blue:** uh ok

**M. M.:**......................

 

_1 new chat from:_ **M. M.**

 

**M. M.:** OK what was that

**Blue:** What was what??

**M. M.:** Eduardo becoming Ghandi all of a sudden

**Blue:** Yeah I dont think thats concerning

**M. M.:** How?

**Blue:** I mean what he says is life changing and teaches us lessons. And he is right Mark you become REALLY obessed with finding an answer

**M. M.:** No I'm not That's a farce

**Blue:** At youre 11 birthday party, your mom hired a magician. When he did the coin trick, you spent so long asking him questons that you missed cake and made him swear

**Blue:** I still have the video here

**Blue** _has sent a video:_ **Markus's 11 Birthday!!!**

 

**M. M.:** Oh my God I forgot about 

**M. M.:** But that doesn't prove that I'm obsessive

**Blue:** And then in high school, you spent two days arguing with our math teacher about the hw cause you got different answers to all of the problems when really you just suck at calculus

**M. M.:** I DO NOT

**Blue:** Yeah you do Mark

**M. M.:** LIES

**M. M.:** ALL LIES

**Blue:** STOP RUNNING AWAY FROM THE TRUTH

**M. M.:** JON YOU CAN'T EVEN HANDLE THE FACT THAT MERMAIDS DON'T EXIST

 

 

**Blue:** YOU DONT KNOW THAT

**M. M.:** THEN YOU CAN'T SAY THAT IM OBSESSIVE IN FINDING THE ANSWER SO DONT COME AT ME LIKE THAT

**Blue:** I HAVE EVEYR RIGHT TO

**M. M.:** Eveyr

**M. M.:** You have many right Jon, but mispelling somethig like every is not one of them

**Blue:** SOD OFF

**M. M.:** What an eloquent way to end an arguement!

**M. M.:** Very impressive!

**M. M.:** And now he's not responding, wow

**Blue** _has sent a video:_ **OH VIENES**

**M. M.:** WHERE DID YOU GET THAT

**Blue:** Dont test me

**M. M.:** JON DELETE THAT

**M. M.:** JON

**M. M.:** Fine have it your way!

**M. M.** _has sent a picture:_ **2013Jon**

**M. M.:** _has sent a video:_ **2010Jon**

**M. M.:** _has sent a picture:_ **2010Jon**

**M. M.:** _has sent a picture:_ **2010Jon**

_You can no long message this user._

 

**M. M.:**  DID YOU JUST BLOCK ME

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos to those who spotted the sponge bob reference  
> I see Mark as the type that wants an explanation while his friends are ok with it as long as he doesnt go overboard with it. And that bit where Jon tried to help Mark with his paper in college? Yeah, thats a story for another day-or chapter ;)))  
> And yes, Eduardo saying physiolgical stuff is gonna be a thing. I just love the rowdy, shot-tempered friend saying some life lessons.
> 
> -Mark's voice actor is Benjamin Rudman is a porfessional voice actor. He's done video games, animations like Eddsworld, audiobooks, and narration.  
> -The radioactive coffee bit is a nod to The End(Part 1) where he drinks coffe and his hair flashes green.  
> -The mermaid bit is a refernce to an Eddsworld comic on DeviantArt. Check it out!
> 
> also I've been trying to add character in the way the gang talk. Mark has proper puncuation and his texts are somewhat formal to new people, Eduardo and Tom are lowercass lads, while Edd, Matt, and Jon are pretty chill texting. I just feel like thats important.  
> See ya in the next chapter scouts!


	9. The Hangover Tale

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who is who:
> 
> Coca_Cola_Lover: Edd  
> Lame: Tom  
> MattInTheMirror: Matt

_You have entered:_ **Broccoli**

 

 **Lame:** uh

 **Lame:** guys???

 **Lame:** are you guys up

 **Lame:** cause I have NO idea where I am

 **Lame:** GUYS HELP IM SERIOUS

 **Lame:** ouch all caps hurt my eys

 **Lame:** SOMEONE PLS WAKE UO I DONT KNOW WHERE IAM

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** ajhkdk

 **Lame:** ????

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** wat is it tom

 **Lame:** what happened last night

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** we went out fo drnks

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** we got drnks

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** nasdkjnjwnsa

 **Lame:** ok, do you rememer anything of that night cause I cant 

 **Lame:** also I dont think im home

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** iff this. is a prank im gona hit u im 2 hungover for thiss

 **Lame:** I DONT KNOW WHERE I AM MATE IM FREAING OUT

 **Lame:** LET ME SEND YOU MY LOC

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** loc????

 **Lame:** LOCATION

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** stop typing in caps i hav a headache

 **Lame:**   _Location sent._

 **Lame:** idk where i am itss dark tho

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** Tom

 **Lame:** yeah

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** This says youre in Tokyo

 **Lame:**...........................

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** HOW THE FUCK DID YOU END UP IN TOKYO

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** WHY ARE YOU IN TOKYO WE JUST HAD TEQUILA TOM

 **Lame:** I DONT KNOW MAN

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING YOU DRUNKEN PIECE OF SHIT

 **Lame:** IM IN A CRISIS EDD DONT FUCKING CALL ME NAMES

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** YOURE IN ANOTHER COUNTRY I LL CALL YOU WHATEVER I WANT YOU DUMBASS

 **MattInTheMirror:** WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU ALL IM TRYING TO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU SHITHEADS

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** Hey Matt

 **Lame:** Hey

 **MattInTheMirror:** DONT HEY MATT ME GO BACK TO SLEEP YOU LAZY ASS HOE

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** TOMS IN ANOTHER COUNTRY AND YOU WANT ME TO S L E E P

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** I THINK THE FUCK NOT

 **MattInTheMirror:** TOMS W H E RE?????

 **Lame:** Tokyo 

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** fucking ToKYO

 **MattInTheMirror:** H O W

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** THATS WHAT WERE TRYING TO FIGURE OUT

 **Lame:** y'all.....all I remember was going to a bar that was like a club, chugging SOMETHNG, and following someone to a car

 **Lame:** have I been kidnapped

 **MattInTheMirror:** No........I think I know what happened............

 **Lame:** ok tell us

 **MattInTheMirror:** Alright!!!!

 **MattInTheMirror:** So, yesterday was Friday and Tom wanted to go to this new bar that had opened called The Hangover??? It was an hour away so we left early and that place was HUGE!! Like, warehouse huge with three floors and stages and shit like that. There was even a chandelier.

 **Lame:** Ok I remember that 

 **MattInTheMirror:** So! we get a table and start drinking and then Shut Up and Dance started playing and yall know how much I LOOVE that song so I started dancing

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** Yeah you pushed me and spilled my drink on me

 **MattInTheMirror:**..........oops???

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** Atleast it explains the stain on my shirt

 **MattInTheMirror:** ANYWAYS we drank some more and met a group of people and started fucking around and all I remember is Tom climbing onto the table and chugging a bottle

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** Oh yeah I was screaming at you tO GET THE FUCK DOWN!!!!!

 **MattInTheMirror:** Yeah....the last thing I remember is lifting someone up??? idk

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** Ok now that I have recieved that shock that Tom is in Tokyo and Matt remembered that much along with a can on incredible cola....I remember some shit

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** I was eating a lot of pretzels and I guess someone was flirting with me?? Cause I remember someone saying I have pretty eyes and I was so drunk I just garggled at her 

 **MattInTheMirror:** Omg

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** But I do remember you hanging out with a bunch of people in purple shirts Tom

 **Lame: y** eah there are purple shirts in the room

 **MattInTheMirror:** YOU GOT LAID

 **Lame:** LMAO NO I CHECKED

 **MattInTheMirror:** Ewww

 **Lame:** you we're just interested on wether or not I got laid Matt

 **MattInTheMirror:** Still.....

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** We can talk about Toms sex life later

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** Tom do you remember anything else???

 **Lame:** Uh, someone dancing with me n getting drunk and then my ears popping

 **Lame:** idk why I remember that part

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** Anything else??

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** no

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** K get home safe!

 **Lame:** hwat

 **Lame:** EDD PLS TELL ME YOUR KJOKING

 **Lame:** EDD PLS DNO

 **MattInTheMirror:** EDD YOIU CANT BE SERUIOUS

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** lmao I am

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** Jk Im checking times at the Tokyo airport

 **Lame:** I FUCKING HATE YOU 

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** SHUT UP IM HELPING YOU GTE YOUR ASS BACK INTO LONDON BE FUCKING GRATEFUL

 **Lame:** ILL GRATE YOUR FACE YOU BASTARD YOU WOULD HAVE LEFT ME HERE ADMIT IT

 **MattInTheMirror:** He would!

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** Yeah I would

 **Lame:** FUCK YOU

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** You

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** Wish

 **Lame:** actually, Tokyo is nice. Amazing view! Great food and music!

 **MattInTheMirror:** YOU CANT JUST MOVE TO TOKYO TOM ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND

 **MattInTheMirror:** WHAT ABOUT SUSAN AND YOUR FLASK

 **Lame:** btw where IS my flask

 **MattInTheMirror:** I got it

 **Lame:** oh thanks

 **MattInTheMirror:** No prob!!

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** Tom which hotel are you in???

 **Lame:** Uhhhh let me check I gotta change

 **Lame:** fuck this room is huge look 

 **Lame** _has sent an image:_ **THISPLACEISHUUUUGE** **.jpg**

 

 **MattInTheMirror:** THATS SUCH A NICE ROOM WTF I WANT IT

 **MattInTheMirror:** TAKE MORE PICTURES

 **Lame:** I NEED TO FIND MY PANTS MATT

 **MattInTheMirror:** FUCK YOUR PANTS THAT ROOM IS ASTHETICALLY PLEASING TO ME SO TAKE SOME PICTURES

 **Lame:** hoW CAN YOU CARE MORE ABOUT A ROOM THAN ME IN ANOTHER GODDAMN COUNTRY

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** I swear to God if you two don't shut up I will get the tank and shove you two in it along with a bomb.

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** Is. That. Clear.

 **Lame:**.......................k

 **MattInTheMirror:**.......................k......................

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** Tom whats the hotels name

 **Lame:** hold on

 **Lame:** I just tripped over someone head

 **MattInTheMirror:** Omg

 **Lame:** they look dead but theyre breathing I think

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** "I think"

 **Lame:** shut up

 **Lame:** ok found my pants brushed my teeth and am heading out

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** Why do I feel tempted to drink

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** And to eat a watermelon

 **Lame:** eat a watermelon

 **MattInTheMirror:** Brush you teeth first you heathan

 **Lame:** fuckinfjdksak IM ON THE TOP FLOOR

 **Lame:** THE VIEWS NICE THO

 **MattInTheMirror:** PICS OR ITS NOT REAL

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR PICS

 **Lame:** too late

 **Lame:** I'll text you in a bit

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** You better

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** Matt come down and help me with my hangover

 **MattInTheMirror:** But.........

 **MattInTheMirror:** the floor is comfty

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:**....k Ill bring it up

 **MattInTheMirror:** :D|

 

~

 

 **Lame:** tfw when youre in the elavator that breaks down wHEN YOURE ONE FLOOR AWAY FROM THE LOBBY

 **Lame:** oh what it started back up again

 **Lame:** IM IN THE LOBBY FINALLY

 **Lame:** this place is so fuckig nice guys I dont want to goooo

 **Lame:** fuck I dont want to ask

 **Lame:** shishitshitPEOPLE

 **Lame:** ok I asked someone and Im at the Peninsula Hotel

 **Lame:** 5 stars

 **Lame:** nice

 **Lame:** ok Im outside and I probably look like shit but when youre in a situation like this you dont think much about how you look

 **Lame:** what do I do know

 

~

 

 **Lame:** YOOOOOOOOOOOO

 **Lame:** Ok so I didn't want to seem so I went back inside and I see one of the guyes I was with last night

 **Lame:** he came up to me and started talking to me about how fucking wild last night was and then asked if I wanted to go to breakfast with him

 **Lame:** and I was yes bc I was starving so we head out with the other purple shirts to this really nice place I think it was a cafe???? anyway we eat and they tell me what happened

 **Lame:** apparently these guys are all friends and have JUST graduated college and decided to travel the world. They said that london was their 9th stop and wanted to know what "British people alcohol tasted like"

 **Lame:** I FUCKING CHOKED WHN THEY SAID THAT LMFAO THATS THE BEST EXCUSE

 **Lame:** ANYWAY they toured around before hitting the Hangover and one of the girls was interested in my hair and how spiky it was but when she went to aks me I was shit-faced. So I just talked nonsenense to her before challenging her to a drinking contest. I think I shouted at her

 **Lame:** but she won and Im bitter

 **Lame:** I guess I got so upset I climbed onto the table and started chugging a bottle

 **Lame:** then I danced with them but they decided to fucking bring me to their fUCKING

 **Lame:** PRIVATE

 **Lame:** JET

 **Lame:** Im not kidding one of them is hella rich and her mom just so happened to lend us her OWN! PRIVATE! JET!

 **Lame:** IT WAS AMAZING WE NEED TO GO TO THE HANGOVER NOW

 **Lame:** after the trip we got to the hotel and someone tried to have sex??? Idk but than someone yelled MOVIES and we ended up watching some horror film

 **Lame:** and then we went to sleep

 **Lame:** IT ALL HAPPENED IN ONE NIGHT DIDNT I TELL YOU GUYS GOING OUT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA

 **Lame:** EDD'S EYES GOT COMPLEMENTED, MATT DANCED TO HIS SONGS, AND I GOT ON A MOTHERFUCKING! PRIVATE! JET!

 **Lame:** HOLY SHIT LIFE CAN BE SO WILD

 

~

 

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** Hey Tom can you tell youre new friends to drive you to a field

 **Lame:** uh why

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** So that we can pick you up

 **Lame:** how?

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** With the spaceship

 **Lame:**........

 **Lame:** BOI

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** What?

 **Lame:** YOU CANT BRING A SPACESHIP TO TOKYO IT MIGHT GET TAKEN FROM THE GOVERMENT

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** WELL IM NOT PAYING FOR A PLANE TICKET

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THOSE THINGS COST

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** AN ARM AND A GODDAMN LEG

 **Lame:** ILL JUST ASK MY NEW FRIENDS EDD WTF

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** TOM THATS SO RUDE TO ASK FOR MONEY YOU BUM DONT DO THAT

 **Lame:** DID YOU NOT READ UP????

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** E H AT

 **Lame:** READ UP THEN WELL SEE WHOSE THE FUKCING BUM

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** F I N E 

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** Ok I read up

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** No you may not ask for a free ride on your new friend's private jet

 **Lame:** WTF WHY NOT

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** ITS RUDE TOM

 **Lame:** FUCK YOUR RUDENESS IM ASKIG FOR A FLIGHT AND N O O N E CAN S T O P ME

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** TOM I SWEAR TO FUCK

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** YOU KNOW WHAT FINE DO IT DONT COME CRYING TO ME WHEN THEY SAY NO YOU BITCH

 **Lame:** ILL BE HOME AT 5 I THINK

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** GET FUCKED

 **MattInTheMirror:** Tom send me picture of jet and bring me back some cake pls

 **Lame:** No

 **MattInTheMirror:** Asshole

 

~

 

 **Lame:** I ASKED MY NEW FRIEND ADRIAN AND HE SAID YES HE CAN GIVE ME A RIDE TAKE THAT EDD

 **Lame:** ok so I'll leave in an hour Im going out to lunch with them

 **Lame:** theres six of us not including me

 **Lame:** damn why am I so hungry right now

 **Lame:** we're walking down the street to the same place where we got breakfast

 **Lame:** its surprsingly warmer here than in London???

 **Lame:** maybe I will live here lmao

 **Lame:** just ship my shit over to my new apartment

 **MattInTheMirror:** ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOT TOM

 **Lame:** jesus christ f i n e

 **Lame:** k were sitting down and some girl named Diane pulled out some papers out of her bag????

 **Lame:** its there plans about where they're going next

 **Lame:** shes talking in another language what the fuck is she saying

 **Lame:** IDAID THAT OUTLUD FUCKUFCKFUCKFUCK

 **Lame:** "Shit, Im sorry I didnt mean to say it out loud" "Its fine youre not the first one"-Diane FUCKSDDAJKHJKDDKANKSNKS

 **Lame:** k heres the convo yall

 **Lame:** Diane: we already looked at everything her lets go to Yokohama. looks cool

 **Lame:** Adrian: we need to drop Tom off to London tho

 **Lame:** someone I dont know: HES NOT COMING WITH..........me: I have a only one pair of underware 

           him: just wash them and reuse

 **Lame:** I dont know how I feel about THAT

 **Lame:** k so after lunch were all gonna head over to the jet and make our way back to London

 **Lame:** Why the FUCK am I so hungry

 

~

 

 **Lame** _has sent one image:_ **LOOKATTHIS**

 

 **Lame:** YOU JEALOUS

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** Im waitng for you to come back so that I can yell a you you idiotic drunk skunk

 **Lame:** yeah youre jealous

 

~

 

 **Lame:** I

 **Lame:** REALY dont like jet leg

 **Lame:** Adrian got me a taxti making my way down the road

 **Lame:** you know that feeling after a long plain ride where youre tired and dizzy

 **Lame:** yeah Im trying to sort myself out

 **Lame:** guys I had a tearful goodbye back in Tokyo we all hugged and Adrian gave me his number????

 **Lame:** so I made a new friend

 **Lame:** op Im here

 **Coca_Cola_Lover:** Good.

 **Lame:**..........

 **Lame:** Im fucked arent I

 **Lame:** yA THINK

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -The Pensinsula Hotel is real along with the airport. The rooms are beautiful guys  
> -Watermelon is one fruit you can eat in order to cure a hangover  
> -This is my attempt at writitng a Tom Tales episode  
> -Apparently private jets can seat 6 people  
> -Yokohama is a 39 min drive from Tokyo  
> -While writing the Hangover club part all I could think about was the song Hangover from the movie Kick, the one Salman Khan was in
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this chapter. See ya in the next one scouts!

**Author's Note:**

> I genially think that the hole near the side in boxers is neat. Im weird like that sue me  
> This is a pretty boring chapter, but it'll get interesting I promise! I also don't know if cats can die from eating grapes. And fun fact when I was writing this I kept on accidentally writing Coca_Cola_Loser instead of lover (but honestly it wouldn't make any difference.)  
> So yeah enjoy this calm atmosphere cause I'm gonna ruin it lmao


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